Ramble Ride July 2021

Ramble Ride 2021

I carried my GoPro camera along and compiled a video of the trip. You can watch it HERE.

Day 1: 

Today was hard. Like… real hard. 😯 

It’s taken me 5 years to forget how hard this ride is/can be. I last did it in 2016- the first year they did this event- and I’d honestly forgotten (selective memory?)  just how difficult the riding is. And also how much fun… To get off grid away from cell signals; to meet a whole new group of rad humans; to ride bikes on quiet back roads with the ONLY objective of the day being simply to make it to the evening campsite, and set up my tent before dark.

Yes, It’s a good way to spend a few days. I’m so thankful I can do things like this. 

The primitive simplicity of it is the biggest piece of this vacation for me -  we laughed today as we struggled up this brute of a climb, that we could be vacationing on a beach 🏖 or in a ritz carlton but … why? We got to see the sights and take in the views from our bikes with only our legs to power us and mountain ranges and wildflowers and cattle and wildlife to look at. Yes it’s hard —and it’s also really rewarding.

Last night we arrived in Walden and camped there (I slept in my van, naturally!) and this morning we took off and rode 65 miles towards this lake, where we are camped out tonight. That doesn’t sound very daunting but let me tell you… this course is NOT for the faint of heart. Over 5000 feet of elevation gain achieved at times on 15-18% gradient roads that were relentless; yes, some walking and pushing of the bike took place, I’m not gonna lie. 10mph average pace is the goal. and even that isn’t always attainable.

I brought my Cannondale Fsi hard tail mountain bike - it’s the perfect tool for the job here. Super light weight with the Lefty Ocho fork for some moderate front suspension, easily locked out when not needed. I just recently put on new wider tires too-2.4/2.5 nice and grippy. Albeit -a bit much for this ride - but being able to manage the gravel on these tires gives me immense confidence. The roads we’re riding are rough enough this bike is much kinder on the arms and shoulders than a gravel bike would be plus some of these roads today were almost legit mtn bike trail-ish. I was glad for the front suspension and the upright position.  The bike was admired and wished-for by several riders. Gravel bikes are rad but they can be quite a bit less forgiving especially day after day. I’m thrilled with my choice of steed. 

This morning the RR Crew served us homemade bread pitas with eggs and sausage and spinach. Delicious.

Then the roll out time was up to us. The day’s pace is up to us - it’s a ramble NOT a race … some of us choose to travel light and let the vans carry the bulk of our gear while others choose to try out the full bike packing experience by loading their bikes with all the gear. We lighter riders rolled in earlier and those fully loaded down came in later. Then we all dodged a big storm that luckily blew through without pouring rain on us.  Tonight’s dinner was burgers, veggies and cucumbers. So good. Out on course they kept us rolling with fluids and a solid lunch stop where Peter made us sandwiches - that was so good. Eating real food versus eating sugarybike food all day makes such a difference. 

I type this tonight after this first hard day from inside my brand new tent - the first I’ve ever owned. ⛺️ Truly. It’s the Big Agnes bike packing tent - (two person for more room!) and I highly recommend it ! Today was the first official time I’ve set it up for myself (i practiced last weekend but that didn’t count). Tonight I’m set up right next to the lake where our campsite is …and I hear the water lapping up on the beach. I’m tired and so SO ready for bed. It’s only 815. Too soon? I guess that’s up to me to decide. I enjoyed lots of laughs with new friends at dinner and now it’s time for me- for solitude. 

This trip was just what I needed; I needed a clean break from the daily duties to give my head time and space to rest and download all that’s happened in recent months. So much loss and grief and trauma in the cycling world- far too many cyclists hit and taken from us. It’s my job to stand up and do something about it but of course it comes with a personal cost; I’m not a robot- this stuff lands hard with me. There is a price it exacts from me as a human. Perhaps more than most since I am such a deep feeler. No amount of compartmentalizing has ever made this work easier me. I feel things very deeply, Especially others’ pain.  It is how I’m wired; it’s how I see and experience the world- deeply- with my heart out front of me taking it in. It is both my greatest strength and also at times my greatest weakness. Lawyers aren’t exactly supposed to wear their hearts on their sleeves. 

So I’m out here trying to heal my heart by riding bikes in nature away from screens and cell towers. Today was hard enough that the monkey mind is for the time being, Silenced. 🤫 The fatigue quiets the mind and for that I say thank you. 🙏🏼 I’m tired mentally and physically and I welcome rest tonight in this cute little new tent home of mine surrounded by new friends and colorado gloriousness. If that isn’t a salve for broken hearts, frenetic minds and emotional wear and tear, I don’t know what is. ❤️ 😴 💤 🌅 

Tomorrow is a shorter day followed by two longer days: days 3-4 are re-routes due to the morgan creek fire currently burning which affected the original route. We won’t make it into steamboat as originally planned but that’s ok - this way we can leave our tents set up for both nights 2&3. 

We will ride back into Walden on Saturday and then I’ll head home- I hope- with renewed spirit, clarity in some big decisions pressing down in me, and tired legs. And a little more fitness than I had when I left home, I hope. 

Day 2

Much shorter ride today thankfully. Everyone was upbeat this morning as a result; yesterday wiped all of us out. Today was just 41 miles and normal climbs, none of that 15-18% gradient stuff we had yesterday. The highlight of the day was riding smack into a cattle drive on the road - we rode through a large herd broken up into three squads - I got to see cattle dogs working the herd back down towards the road and cowboys and girls working the herd forward. With their blessing & encouragement they told us to ride right through the cows. It was exhilarating and intimidating both. I was all by myself for most of it. Another rider (Jeff from Marin County CA- hospital IT) caught up to me towards the end which made me feel better. Those animals are large up close. And noisy and talkative ! It amazed me how scared they were of me riding my bike by myself into their groups. Some ran alongside me for awhile. Truly a remarkable experience. 🐮

We set up camp at the lake here (hog park) and this will now be our home for two nights. This lake is gorgeous and great for swimming. I didn’t set up camp quite as close to the water this time; instead I opted for some tree cover and I was hoping it would give me some wind cover too. But right now we are in the midst of quite a storm with strong gusts and rain and it doesn’t feel like the trees are helping. I can’t believe this tent & what it is capable of handling right now. I am truly Impressed. (But if I’m being honest I miss the comforts of 🚐 life!). 

With the early end to our ride today I had time to set up my spot and then I laid down in the tent and passed out for awhile. 💤 With no signal there’s not much else to do and it was lovely to just rest. Nowhere to be. Nothing to do. Hunkered down while the storm passes (we hope) before dinner time. It truly does feel like vacation when the only job at hand is to rest. 

We enjoyed a wonderful dinner and another group sit afterwards chatting and laughing. So good for the soul- to meet kindred spirits from all over. There are riders here from CA, NY and everywhere in between. Many of us are from CO too of course. A CU professor, freelance writers from Foco and Aspen … a Lamborghini race engineer (I kid you not), folks from Pearl Izumi, a nurse, guys in mortgages from CA, a guy in real estate development from TX, a physician, several school teachers, a veterinarian— all ages and all levels of cyclist … so many interesting backgrounds and stories. I think I am the only attorney here- I wish more lawyers would avail themselves of experiences like this. 

Another light rain storm kicked up sending many of us to our tents to retire early. It’s nice to lay flat letting the body just be. And without a book, journal or internet to read stuff online, I find myself literally with nothing to do but think about the things I came here grappling with. Funny how we can use work and being busy -in motion to avoid giving deep thought to the things most weighing on us. 

It’s been 2.5 days since I last checked email and I can’t express how freeing it is to be away from that endless beast. Having no signal is the only way many of us here feel we can truly let down and have a break. Crazy, isn’t it… ?

Day 3: 

Today we had a 50-ish mile fairly challenging loop on tap starting & finishing at our campsite. Old megan would’ve ridden it and every other included mile for the achievement and accomplishment factor. Conquering every bit of it would’ve been the sentiment. 🏆
Current megan needed and wanted to show herself some love and take advantage of cell signal-less scenery by a beautiful lake. So I rode out an hour turned around and rode back for a nice easy two hour cruise. 

And then I rode out onto the boat dock here and sat there for a nice long while. As I stared out at the water, the tears came. Raw perhaps from tent sleeps and hard bike days - or maybe the grief saw a window of opportunity for release. Thoughts of my grandmother Jane and beloved dog Phoenix and friend Gwen came rushing to my mind; I sat and let the tears roll. The way our cycling community is hurting so badly this year with tragedy after tragedy — after last year when bikes saved so many people during Covid- it’s been even harder to see the aggression and anger towards us as riders now that the country has gone back to its old ways …

It was cathartic. It needed to happen. I sat there until it felt finished, then returned to our campsite and washed my hair (in the lake) for the first time on the trip and chatted with members of the RR team and then passed out again… another hard nap. I woke to the sound of rain hitting my tent and the sounds of voices of riders starting to come in. They’d had a good hard day out there compete with hail and rain… I knew I’d made the right call for what I needed. 

We enjoyed another fun evening of chatting, Jokes and laughter and then Peter bid us all farewell as tomorrow when we get back to Walden we’ll be grabbing bags and departing for home. It was a lovely evening here with a gorgeous sunset 🌅 and positive vibes all around. Everyone is tired //feeling accomplished & for good reason - peter said he designs these rides to be hard enough that we are pushed to new limits. 

It’s been a lovely adventure, one I needed and would for sure do again —and highly recommend to anyone who wants to get away for a few days but without the need to have to carry everything and be totally self supported. This is the perfect mix of roughing it and support - of feeling safe in the wilderness and also being self sufficient. You’re on your own out there, mostly, but you won’t be left behind, you’ll be cared for it something happens … It’s been fantastic. It’s gone too fast.

Tomorrow will be a big hard day and I know I’ll be sad when it’s over. And I’ll be glad to be home in my bed, too. I’ve really missed my dog Ramsey a lot while I’ve been here, she rarely gets left behind. 

I’m not sure I found the clarity I came out here seeking but my mind feels more sedated and peaceful than it did when we began… I have the sense that everything is going to be ok, which is better than when I started . I am thankful for the remainder of the weekend to download this experience and process it. I don’t want to simply rush on to the next thing and get sucked back into work mode too quickly. 

Day 4: 

Today’s ride was hard. It was gorgeous. And hard. Midday I got into a group pace line and we were so focused on clicking off the miles we missed a turn 🤦‍♀️ whoops. Added some bonus miles with that. County road 9b (9a?! 🤷‍♀️) was our reward- this gorgeous dirt road in the middle of nowhere it felt. Then it was pavement back into Walden …
The perfect end to a wonderful experience. I finished just as it started raining in Walden. Loaded up my stuff and began the drive home- loads of traffic plus a crash on Berthoud pass added an extra hour and let me tell you, the shower 🚿 at home felt amazing once I finally got there. It was nice to have Saturday night and all day Sunday to process the trip and get stuff cleaned up and put away. 

learn more about future trips at RambleRides.com ✅

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Ok so- what to pack for something like this? We are limited to 80L bags. I brought a 60L duffel —
here’s my pre trip load spread out on the floor (not shown-sleeping bag):

Guilty pleasure: clean bibs for each day (4 pair of cycling shorts). Fresh chamois makes a huge difference for me & it doesn’t take up much space

Things I regret taking: none

Things I packed but didn’t use: only two shirts & my swimsuit went unused. And some bike food that I didn’t end up eating/needing. 

Things I wish I’d had with me:

a chair for the campsites

a Warmer sleeping bag ! mine at 30 degrees wasn’t enough for me even with my puffy on and stocking cap while I slept - that higher altitude air plus being on the ground meant I needed a warmer bag 🥶

Rag for bike washing

Bug spray

Ibuprofen

Closed toed shoes- flip flops 🩴 were bad idea. =Cold and wet or dirty feet all the time 

Headphones for evening wind-down in my tent or at minimum a book 📕

All in all this was a wonderful experience- one I highly recommend. 

Visit their website to learn more about future Rambles.

My First 14er attempt… unsuccessful

This Van adventure was intended to cross off an item that has been on my bucket list since I first moved to Colorado back in 2006, namely hiking a Fourteener. 

For those not from Colorado or familiar, a 14er is a mountain hike that rises up to 14,000 feet above sea level and there are numerous 14ers. across the state. In fact it is a very popular endeavor to attempt to hike all of the 14 or‘s and many people have done so. I’ve ridden two 14ers on my bike, evans and pikes peak, but haven’t hiked one. 

For no specific reason this is one of those things that just simply has not happened for me, and it’s also not something I’ve wanted to attempt to do the first time on my own. 

So when I made a new friend who was willing to hike Yale, a 14er that she has done a couple times already, I jumped at the chance!

The night before Rams and I did a mini recon hike of the first half mile of the trail. Wow that sucker is steep.

Then, I drove the 🚐 up Cottonwood Pass and watched the sunset from the top of the pass which was absolutely incredible. This experience made this entire endeavor worthwhile in and of itself! 

I then drove a bit down the pass to VanCamp for the night, and if I could do this over again I think I would sleep at the lowest elevation possible, since I think the thin air caused me to get absolutely no rest. 🤦‍♀️ Dinner was a batch of hot Huel, some almonds and hot tea.

Micah and I met at the Denny trail head at 5:30 AM sharp and off we went to hike Mount Yale.

From the word go, I knew I was in trouble; my body felt like absolute garbage, my legs felt wobbly and I felt dizzy. I kept trying to keep the fluids and fuel on board, however the sense that my legs were just not reliable, persisted. 

As we approached tree line and then got above tree line I told Micah that I thought I needed to turn back -as disappointed as I was- because I felt like I was going to be a significant liability on the way back down if I went all the way to the top.

Thankfully she agreed to keep going so that she could get her acsent in, and I turned around and started back for the van. I am really sad that my first 14 or attempt was unsuccessful. 

I learned a few things in this process one of which is that I need to do a lot more glute strength work, as the butt cheeks were on fire 🔥 from the very start, whereas the quads never felt a hint of effort. I also think that getting up sooner than 40 minutes prior to go time is a good idea, as I don’t think I had time to sufficient to wake up (never got my coffee in!) and didn’t really get my mind in the game this morning. 

Lastly as I mentioned, I think I would sleep at a lower altitude and then drive up to the trail head the morning of. 

This is certainly not the last time that I will attempt to summit Yale, it is simply the first… while I am very sad that I didn’t get to stand at the top and hold the sign, I know that I will try this again soon!

Drive-in movie in the 🚐 & Cottonwood Pass

Best seat in the house 🚐 🌅

I don’t recall the last movie I saw in a theater- certainly it was pre covid but likely even years prior to that. I’m almost positive I haven’t done a drive in movie theater since I was a little kid. So here we are, me and Rams, soaking up the chance to see Disney’s Cruella (with one of my fave actors Emma Stone!) with the mountains around us at sunset.
And yes … it’s just as wonderful as it sounds. Perhaps the best $10 I’ve spent in quite some time!!

I packed some bubbly orange ade and some popcorn for snacks 🍿 and also brought a salad 🥗 for pre movie dining.
Miss rams is a big fan of this since it got her up on the bed with me for cuddles while we watch through the back doors.

Not only was the movie good (ahem, Emma!) but I got to see shooting stars in the sky, and the occasional silent lightening burst off in the distance. It was surreal. The movie audio came in via the van radio - and the huge screen set against the dark sky with radiant stars — I’m telling you. What an experience.

The movie ended late - interestingly, at 11:11 (a reminder I’m in exactly the right place- right where I’m supposed to be) and then it was time to move the van for sleep. We drove back towards BV and parked in a park near the main strip but in a super quiet spot. It was finally lights out at midnight.

I woke with the plan of riding my new road bike up cottonwood pass to kick off the day and week before heading back to engage in work. I’d worked quite a bit both Saturday and Sunday with this plan in mind -and had “schedule send”-Ed lots of work emails to go out midday Monday.

I enjoyed some coffee and oatmeal, got Rams sorted in the van -then off I went up Cottonwood. This is the fourth or so time I’ve ridden it - I was counting on traffic being relatively quiet on a Monday. The wind was also quiet and it was truly a bluebird day out there.

It turned out that yes- it was a perfect day to be on the pass.
With the exception of one truck with Kansas plates, (towing a camper and I don’t think he realized how much further it sticks out than his truck), leading to a very close pass as he overtook me… all the other cars were awesome. And- on my way up I ran into a group of ladies who were running SAG for their husbands riding up the pass. They took my pics and offered me bananas and water ;) they learned my name and cheered for me at the summit- so cute. 🙌

I haven’t been up here since last fall and this new whip features a totally different gear ratio than I’m used to. Too soon to say if I like it or if I wanna go back to my old standard crank with 11x28 type gears. 🤷‍♀️

Such a great way to start the week. 💫

And then, back at my computer logged in and working by noon.
Yes, this is how we do van life: Spontaneity. Adventure. Exploration. A sense of awe and wonder and gratitude. Checking things off the list of things I’ve always wanted to do. Riding a mountain pass on a Monday because 👏 we 👏 can 👏!!!

Cottonwood Lake and the Women We Met Along the Way

“I have a lot of proof that the world is conspiring to make me happy.”
― Matthew McConaughey, Greenlights

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First: The women we met along the way …

The first was while filling up the van with gas at the gas station. The woman next to me asked if I liked my new black rhino wheels and Toyo AT tires. I said did and explained my reasons for choosing them and then we got to talking about the van etc. She shared she just moved to CO from FL to work and lives in CO six months of the year (in her “mini Winnie”) and that the day we were chatting was her 62nd birthday ! She simply exuded life and positivity. After chatting a bit we wished one another well and off we went. 

After arriving at my campsite I was walking Ramsey to scope things out when we came upon a woman sitting by herself on her ATV. I asked if she’d be willing to take our photo by the lake & she happily agreed. This led to us conversing about the area and she filled me in on several really good details to know. Like nearby free disbursed camping. And the path around the lake and so on. She was just sitting there waiting on the rest of her party to join her and it was so fun to chat. She couldn’t get over that it’s just me and the Rams out here. :) 

Last, at the campsite that evening a mom and her daughter rolled in around sunset and set up camp at the site across from me. So cute… the little girl looked to be around four or so. At one point the mom waves at me and then said she was sorry for the noise they were making. I was like ARE YOU KIDDING ME ! …there’s no one else I’d rather have for camp neighbors ! A mom and her girl (later learned it was Kelly and Luna from Longmont) out camping and chatting and listening to her little girl giggle it was so good. She went on to apologize for speaking loudly but said it’s because she’s 50% deaf. I said again seriously you guys are not bothering me at all and if I had a little girl that’s exactly what I’d be doing with her as well— camping out under the stars ! 

Next -Where are we this time? Cottonwood lake campground up Cottonwood pass from BV. After seeing pictures of this lake on IG I just had to come up here and yes it’s just as glorious as expected... The lake is absolutely stunning. 

The past two months since our last van trip have been an absolute whirlwind - we made our way back to CO from AZ in early May. I had a birthday :) then… I was off to Cabo for a trial lawyers college May 13-16; it was the first gathering of lawyers anywhere since Covid. Amazing experience.

Life forever changed when I landed back at DIA on May 16, I learned my dear friend Gwen had been hit and killed while riding her bike in a bike lane that morning. On a Sunday morning at 10am. This news absolutely rocked me and our entire community. I went straight into action that Monday getting her ghost bike done and installed at her crash site, organizing a ghost bike ceremony for the cycling community that next morning and getting involved with her husband Mike & her family to help make arrangements. News and media sources across the country picked up the story and the interviews and requests for comment were extensive. I was so glad they covered her story — she deserved it and it also helps elevate this issue for the public at large. 

That week was a blur. Her viewing was Friday evening and memorial service Saturday. Writing my friend’s obituary is something I hope to never have to do again- AND- it was a gift for me to once again re examine how I’m spending my precious days. I’m all too acutely aware of how any bike ride could be my last. For Gwen it was her last - and I take solace in knowing she went out doing what she loved. 

On the heels of that I was off to San Diego for a women’s trial lawyer conference June 4-6 - this one is special since i’ve been attending these the last four years (except 2020) and while it’s a group mostly of Nevada lawyers they’ve welcomed me into their family. This time I had the immense honor of closing out the seminar with a talk that was titled “finding your inner peace.” I was so lit up doing something I feel so passionate about and I truly hope we can save this noble profession by helping lawyers get and stay healthy. I talked a lot about trauma and how we aren’t trained nor prepared to manage the trauma we experience and adopt in our clients’ cases. No one teaches us about “secondary trauma” and how it’s tantamount to PTSD. And here we are as lawyers brushing it off as “just part of the job” and those emotions and trauma are living inside us until we address them. No wonder this work consumes so many people. Just over the weekend I learned another talented Colorado lawyer lost his life to suicide. 

Anyways — I ran off to “numb out” on nature and altitude. There are a lot of pressing things weighing down on me right now. I saw this 2-3 day gap between them and with my van packed I hauled a** out to the mountains. I highly recommend it. Give yourself permission. Yes. In the middle of the week. Mid-week camping is where it’s at nowadays with campgrounds so full. 

After settling in, our first night featured a nice long hike around the lake …complete with a semi stressful river crossing to get back to our campsite so we didn’t have to reverse the two miles back, as we were running out of daylight. I crossed in my shoes and socks to protect my feet and the current was strong enough I was really glad Rams had her puppy backpack on so that I could use her leash to tow her across. We made it and Rams got to cool off in the water so it was alllll good. 

Dinner was a nice big salad with extra toppings for flavor and protein. Then I made a fire and read outside until it grew dark. No cell signal. The compulsion to keep reaching for my phone lasts a while, then slowly the phone is no longer near me. And then eventually I forget where it is … 

I can’t get over how good it feels to me to be back out here. It had been too long- my last van trip was early April so… two months ago. I’d grown a bit rusty on the van stuff and already notice things I totally forgot to bring along. 🤦‍♀️ ahem Coffee bean grinder ! Sweat pants ! …definitely out of practice. Being out here with no cell signal is exactly what I wanted and needed. Adding in the area being close to the lake and not many humans and this is definite new fave spot. 

On this trip i wish I’d brought my gravel bike and not just my road bike. I wasn’t thinking about the long gravel road up here from the paved road, to get to the lake — only thought about riding cottonwood pass on the new road bike when I packed up. Whoops. Lesson leaned: Always bring the gravel bike no matter what. 

The next morning, we had our breakfast and coffee and then it was time to strike out for a reconnaissance run up the gravel road where woman number two had told me there was incredible dispersed camping. Before we left I chatted with the lady and her daughter Luna she so very kindly offered me the use of her kayak in the lake today. Is that not the most incredible thing? The kindness of strangers still continues to amaze me. Ramsey and I ran up the road to check out the dispersed camping sites and sure enough, there were many of them and they were incredible, many situated right on the river.

On our way back down we encountered a camper with two women in it. They stopped and rolled down the windows and chatted with Ramsey and I for a bit, asking me about the campsites up the road. I was happy to share the information I had just learned in observing the many spots along the road perfect for camping. So far that is five women (and a little girl named Luna) I have met on this van trip all of whom have added joy and happiness to my days.

When we got back from our run, Luna had a present for me- a drawing. And flowers. So cute.

I shared with her mom my intel from the recon run about the disbursed camping up the road and started to pack up. I bid them farewell and made my way to the spot I’d see on our run- right on the river, gorgeous trees around and the Grand sound of water flowing fast. Totally ideal.

I came out here to write this book that has been brewing in me for a couple years now. It’s around the concepts I feel lawyers can and should implement in life in order to thrive in this profession. It’s a combo of my own biography plus tricks and self help wrapped into one. I started it in late 2019 and then stalled out with a bad case of “who am I to write such a book .” But now after being asked repeatedly to write and speak on these topics and after what I’ve seen during the covid era and the fact that the book stuff keeps waking me up at night, I’ve decided to write it. No matter what. Even if no one reads it. 

This venue is perfect for this. No cell signal of any kind. No distractions. No people. Just Rams and me and my laptop and the van and the healing sound of rushing water. It’s not lost on me now that bringing the road bike actually serves my goal as I can’t just go for a ride here. Walks and runs are my options - far more time efficient.

So far the system that’s working is to write as long as I can and then take stretch breaks or stand in the water or quick nap or snack and then get back to it. I’m proud to say just in these few days of being out here I’ve got all of chapter one downloaded from my brain and solid start on two. 

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There are no emails to check. No house to clean. No Instagram posts to create or comments to read. It’s just us out here. And it’s incredible beyond words. Oh also it’s a week day. How lucky am I for this to be reality ? Time both goes very slowly and also, flies by out here. The time writing absolutely flies. Hours fly by. The time sitting still or resting go slowly. The good kind of slow. Check out the time lapse video of the clouds —-> good, right?

And another thing that is serving me out here: no sugary snacks. No distractions in terms of food. Just healthy meals like Huel curry or oatmeal. Avocados. Bananas. Grapefruit. RX bars. Tomatoes. Seltzer! But Nothing to mindlessly snack on. That’s proving really helpful and important for writing. 

The upcoming weekend will be perfect for catching up on emails and work. (Thank you Google for “schedule send” so they can go out Monday morning)— as no one ever said you had to work only on week days & play only on weekends. 

I’ll close out with this- on my way home from San Diego last weekend I bought Matthew’s new book, Green Lights. I read it all the way through on the flight home- I devoured it, and I bet you will too. I highly recommend it. The quote up at the top of this blog is one of my faves. Here’s another:

“I think we are our own aspiration and we should interrogate and investigate ourselves, get to know ourselves as well as possible,” … “And in doing so, we will learn and we find out what our own greenlights are.”

🚐 maintenance 101

I’m a jack of all trades in many areas of life … but one topic area I’ve pretty consistently shied away from is automotive repairs and mechanics. My brain has just never really understood how it all works and I haven’t cared enough to learn. 🧠 🤷‍♀️ As long as the magical key makes my ride start and magically go, I’m a happy camper.
I mean- that’s what AAA is for, right 🤷‍♀️?!

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Well- now that I’m loving vanlife and living in the van PLUS traveling some bigger miles and driving in more remote areas, I felt it was really important for me to learn van maintenance. It’s a 6 year old vehicle now and it had 2owners prior to me. So it’s hard to know what maintenance was done or not done- but now that she’s close to 38k miles, warranties have mostly run out and some things are likely getting due for service.

I decided rather than continuing the “ostrich with her head in the sand” approach, I’d take the bull by the horns and proactively learn more in order to avoid surprises /ruined adventures/giant time sensitive or urgent aka expensive repairs …

knowledge is power #amiright.
So today I met with my mechanic friend Chad and he patiently walked me through the main items and showed me each of them … I’m definitely a visual and experiential learner so this is how my mind retains info best. He even showed me some old parts like a trashed water pump and an old belt so that I could see what it looks like when stuff goes sideways.

Many of you car people may roll your eyes at the simplicity of this 101 session however I suspect many van lifers out there didn’t (or don’t) focus as much on what’s under the hood as they do on the internal buildout.

My van is a 2015 ram Promaster 2500. (2500 refers to the chassis I learned today- which includes the frame and suspension setup).

So let’s review what I learned from this maintenance crash course with Chad:

We started at the front and worked our way back:

Wiper blades- we installed one new one and it’s funny how something so simple makes such a big difference!

Blinkers and brake lights ✅ ✅ 🔴➡️⬅️

Brake fluid check - should be yellow-Not brown. I recently had my brakes serviced so I knew I was all good here- the fluid had become a light brown so that was taken care of last month.  It led to the replacement of the driver side brake caliper too 🤦‍♀️ .

Washer fluid - concentrate is the way to go= saves the giant bottles from landfills (use amazon button below to order yours- **as an Amazon associate, I may earn commissions from your purchase)!

Power steering fluid - should be clear. Dipstick showed it was low so we added more to the reservoir- generally speaking, approx 30-35k miles is when a car is due for power steering flush so I’m coming up on that shortly.

I recently had the oil changed so we checked the dipstick and it looked good I use the synthetic oil that needs changing every 5k or so I asked him why not use the oil that lasts for 10k or 15k miles?

Chad recommends every 5k to bring it in so that your vehicle is seen by a professional. Even if your oil can last 10-15k he still suggests having filter checked, oil topped off and vehicle checked out. Because —-a problem left for 10-15k miles unaddressed could really ruin your vehicle. This makes total sense to me.

Air filter - if it’s super dirty, Replace it. Depends on driving conditions ie super dusty terrain, would make this more often. So no real mileage guide this is use-dependent. Ask that this be done /checked alongside with oil changes. 

Transmission fluid - generally, it’s supposed to be red. Check your car type to see what color it’s supposed to be. Same thing -changing every 30k miles or so. Mine is light purple blue/red ish. So it’s semi new. He put some on paper so I could see the color:

For Dodge- it’s a plug down beneath a wiring harness to access this- and then a long custom dipstick made by dodge/Chrysler is needed to reach down in to check fluid color. Not exactly easy.
It can either be drained, or lines that can be hooked up with new fluids and pushed through. Once the oil is black the vehicle transmission is done.  So don’t let it get even close to that point …. Duly noted

Water pump — if it’s going bad, engine heat symbol ⚠️will show it’s running hot, or it also could be leaking coolant. ♨️This is one he had taken out of another customer’s truck - it was toast! This is a hard part of the engine to see and inspect.

Accessory belt - rotates power steering pump. Usually don’t break but the ribs wear down and then the belt starts squeaking. This is one from another customer’s car:

Rear brakes checked - since we just recently replaced front ones (pads & rotors). Fronts typically do more of the braking and therefore often need replacement before the rears. Wheels have to come off to inspect.

A “pad slap” means that they’ve put new pads on but didn’t machine the rotors. That’s how the van was when I got it. It’s not optimal as it means the pads are braking into a surface that isn’t a fresh “mating surface.” Rotors can only be machined a few times but then the rotors get too thin and start to warp. Then you need new rotors. 

The brakes on the van are Mercedes parts which tend to be softer - European design - so they’re really a one time use, they don’t like to be machined. Chad recommends new pads and rotors on a bigger vehicle like this

Rear brakes are great —more than 10k miles to go. I asked him, “is it Ok to use transmission to slow the vehicle instead the brakes ?” He says yes. (whew … since I do this a lot).

Tires Aired up - check tire specs not vehicle specs if you’ve gone after-market.

He recommended that I purchase: 19mm socket for the lugs and breaker bar for extended leverage so that I can check and tighten my wheel lug nuts and change a wheel if I ever get a flat

Which then prompted us to check the spare tire for good air pressure to be sure it’s good to go. 17 lbs = whoops…Mine was low. We topped it off at 35psi ✅.

Lastly — battery check. Mine is 100% even tho it’s an original. The battery in this van actually lives underneath the driver side floor panel & it’s really tricky to get to:

Overall this was two hours of time well spent. I learned a lot and decided what things I’d be willing to tackle on my own versus always taking to a professional. It’s also nice to know what I’m looking for so that I don’t get upsold on nonessential repairs in the future. I can budget ahead now for repairs and service I can anticipate doing in the next 10k miles.

on that note … here’s my favorite comedy skit of all time and it just so happens to Be about lug nut day 😛

The Grand Canyon & Rim Run Recon

We left the campsite in Prescott and made our way to the Grand Canyon — my first time ever. I know I know- it’s insane it’s taken me this long to get here. What matters is that I made it ;) And since last fall I’ve been saying I would come here this spring to run the rim2rim or if I was really in run shape, I’d do R2R2R.

(The morning breakfast and yoga before relocating ….):

As it turns out - I’m not in that kind of run shape, so I’m dropping down in and then coming back up. Without a driver on the north end to pick me up I can’t just run south to north rim. However my friend Danny - the reason I am here- he’s doing the full r2r2r … down angel across the bottom to north rim then back to south rim up Kaibab and then back to our campsite —he’ll have over 50 miles in tomorrow.

And because he reserved a campsite awhile back for his big run, here I am. Thanks to Danny I’m finally seeing and running some of the Grand Canyon. Thankful once again for this van making its way into my life opening up these new possibilities for me. ⭐️

Today we settled into the campsite (um hello mister elk!) then took the bikes to visit the drop in at Angel and the run up and out at Kaibab.

And then we had a feast at our campsite.

Danny crawled into his tent super early since he’s getting up at 3am to be running by 430am. 🏕 🏃 😴

Tonight … as the entire campground winds down and it grows quiet out there, I am maximizing the time by using my hotspot to check emails on my laptop. …Because it IS a weekday after all and inboxes never sleep. 📥

Today’s wins:

Today marked my fourth day since I’d properly showered and washed my hair. I was so excited for the campground showers and got here to find them closed due to covid. So badly needing to wash my hair, I used a cycling water bottle and some shampoo and mannnnnnnnn did that feel amazing !!! Clean wet hair. Wow. I felt like a new woman. It truly is the little things out here. 🧼

Speaking of the little things … so far I’ve put 2 tanks of fuel in, I’ve paid $14/night for 2 nights at the Prescott campsite, I grabbed some water & snacks at Natural Grocers today and then I bought a National Parks pass at the gate today ($80/year - the GC entrance fee was $35 so that was a no brainer). Life in the van, in parks, spending the days outdoors running, riding, doing yoga … it’s a pretty inexpensive and super gratifying way to live. Simplicity at its best.
🙏🏼 I’m so grateful and thankful to be out here. I’m excited to run & recon some of the rim tomorrow — however far my legs decide to take me ! 🚀

Oh and for logistics- we are staying at the Mather campground. It’s pretty densely packed with spots, you don’t get much room away from your neighbor, but the restrooms are nice and clean and you can’t beat $18/night! A bike /walking path takes you easily from here to the trail heads on both the west (angel) or east (Kaibab).

---

Ok so the big run day… first, coffee & breakfast !

Danny and I both had successful endeavors ! I ran down Bright Angel from our campsite and went about 6.5 miles towards the bottom, past Indian Garden, and then turned around and came back up. The down was much harder on me than the run up! It was around 4 hours for me and about a half marathon distance — more than I’ve run in a while! And NOT a fast pace. When I say run- it was more of a walk/jog/hike. It was an amazing experience. I carried a ton of water with me and stayed on top of hydration the entire time. I also brought snacks and ate them all.
In a nutshell- this run/hike was Much MUCH harder than I expected. I cannot imagine running rim to rim let alone coming back again.

Danny had a huge & successful day- he started around 420am & ran into our campground a little after 5pm tonight — his watch tells the story of this amazing feat, check out those stats ! At some point he posted a 6:44min mile today too-! He looked fresh as a daisy, incredible how NOT exhausted he seemed. Ramsey hopped into his lap when he sat down- I’m sure that didn’t feel great on tired quads !

Overall this has been a GREAT trip full of fun, new places, people & experiences. Sooo thankful. 🙏🏼 🚐 🏃‍♀️ 🐶 🚲 🌳 🏕 🏔

Prescott AZ- racing & forest-bathing 🌳

This 🚐 trip kicks off with a lovely dose of #americana - some ball sports, some lively hockey, some bike racing, kids running around, the requisite amount of dirt and dust, loads of campers and RVs, ample 🇺🇸 flying and one helleva sunset ... 🌅 I took the @canonusa out to capture all the feels. #sunsetvibes🌅 💕

Life these days offers glimpses of normalcy and it feels really *really* good. 🙏🏼

Also can I get an amen for @dippindots ?! I haven’t had these in probably 20 years. What a treat. 😋.

Ok so where are we? We’re in a large sports complex park in Prescott, AZ. Here for a mountain bike race, I’m experiencing for the first time this parking lot-event style camping vibe.
This wouldn’t be my top vanlife venue choice on a regular basis …but for this event and experience it’s totally fine. This location boasts temps a full 20-25 degrees than in Phoenix so we’re enjoying the nice cool evening temps and the escape from the big-city-heat.

Pros: restrooms close by, lots of friendly humans around, safe.
Cons: all the humans. And pavement.

Friday night parking lot camp vibes …

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Saturday’s race went GREAT! I actually warmed up for this race and implemented lessons I learned in March’s bike race … and took the win! I raced women intermediate 40-49, won my age group.
More importantly I felt great - I executed food, warmup and race strategies. I hit the opening stretch and hole shot into the first climb, at the front, and it paid off. I got more and more comfortable with the fast & flowy portions of the course as the race went along. We raced at noon so I did some yoga and a walk beforehand. Not normally things I’d do pre race but I wanted to keep my face out of my phone as I sat there nervously waiting for my start :)

One of the race organizers shown above- Les- was so kind. The young gal Pictured -Cat-was the one in front of me I could never quite close in on. She races NCAA triathlon for ASU. She’s 20 years younger than me. The girl who finished right behind me was 18. You have to love a spot that allows women of all ages to closely compete and root one another on ! I highly recommend the MBAA events. This was mY first and I’ll definitely be back it was great !

As I chatted with Cat at the finish I met her friends including a guy named Jason from Bend OR. I mentioned the campsites I was considering for the evening and he gave me some great recommendations as he’d been camping in Prescott for over two weeks. Thankfully we had this convo as the place I planned to camp was full (so many are not doing online reservations only First come First serve). So I moved to the spot Jason had recommended and he was right — it is amazing !!! We were super lucky to snag the last spot.

Once Ramsey and I got settled in we went out for a short hike. There are so many trails right here ! She is such a patient photo subject ;)

Some quick dinner (eggs, Tomato, guac, grapes- a little Bit of everything from the fridge) and some CBD drops and soda to recover from the day and wind down … and then it was time for some evening yoga and star gazing before bed.

---

Sunday morning we awoke to the best sights and sounds: quiet. And big trees. The kind of stillness and peace we really can only find in nature and these big trees surrounding us make it even more magical. Our Campsite is nice and big, With ample room for me to throw the ball for Ramsey and for her to walk around and explore. There are birds all around us. It’s delightful. 🐦
I made some coffee, oatmeal, got out my journal (and yeah my 👩‍💻 too) and soaked in the special vibes of this place. I paid to stay a second night since I’m liking it so much. (I usually wait till after night 1 to decide, to be sure my gut has a good vibe about the spot).

I highly recommend this place If you’re ever in the area. It’s west of Prescott and we’re at close to 6000 feet elevation so it’s nice and cool here. I use the Recreation.gov app to scout spots like This- some even have a QR code so you can use a CC to pay for your campsite (otherwise it’s always cash or check).
again though- many are only doing FF right now and not allowing online reservations.

Pros of this site: great cell signal so I was able to use my hotspot to work on my 👨‍💻; sites are spaced apart so you have lots of room to move and privacy; great tree cover and lots of trails nearby.
Cons: the ATV crowd riding through the campground BRAAAAAAPPPPing. 🤦‍♀️

…the other spot nearby I had planned to stay was the Yavapai campground.
It was full but we got to see some cool stuff on the drive, like this overlook :

Then, as these things often go, I connected with Cat, Jason and their crew and we went out for a fun and chill mtn bike ride on the trail system near my campground. Jason is a professional photographer and he brought his camera along and snapped shots of us on the ride and “sessioning” certain tech sections. It was so fun to be part of a totally random group ride. I’ve missed this so much- being out in the world meeting people like this.

Jason’s professional pics below. Find him at Photo 13 Media.

Post ride, Ramsey and I went for a nice long run up here in the woods. It feels like Colorado … and if I’m being honest, I think we’re both a bit homesick. ;)

And then it was time for our second night in the woods and yoga on the forest floor —Delightful… 🙏🏼

“The key to unlocking the power of the forest is in the five senses. Let nature enter through your ears, eyes, nose, mouth, hands and feet. Listen to the birds singing and the breeze rustling in the leaves of the trees. Look at the different greens of the trees and the sunlight filtering through the branches. Smell the fragrance of the forest and breathe in the natural aromatherapy of phytoncides. Taste the freshness of the air as you take deep breaths. Place your hands on the trunk of a tree. Dip your fingers or toes in a stream. Lie on the ground. Drink in the flavor of the forest and release your sense of joy and calm. This is your sixth sense, a state of mind. Now you have connected with nature. You have crossed the bridge to happiness.”

— https://time.com/5259602/japanese-forest-bathing

The Simple Joy of a Day Trip & Vacation Time Thoughts 💭

This statement right here captures the essence and magic of van life so perfectly:

“Every morning my in-box was full of e-mails asking me to do things I did not want to do or presenting me with problems that I now had to solve. It got more and more intolerable until finally I fled town to the Undisclosed Location from which I’m writing this.

Here I am largely unmolested by obligations. There is no TV. To check e-mail I have to drive to the library. I go a week at a time without seeing anyone I know. I’ve remembered about buttercups, stink bugs and the stars. I read. And I’m finally getting some real writing done for the first time in months. It’s hard to find anything to say about life without immersing yourself in the world, but it’s also just about impossible to figure out what it might be, or how best to say it, without getting the hell out of it again.”

Source: The Busy Trap, Full article HERE.

#Vanlife and van excursions can be somewhat involved. There’s quite a bit of packing and prep that go into them. While it’s always worth it- sometimes I’ve found that a simple day escape is just what the doctor ordered. It’s a chance to get out of the daily mundane and into nature but without the fuss. Done midweek when parks and trails tend to be less-populated, these one-day excursions can really recharge the batteries and leave me feeling motivated for the days ahead.

Earlier this week that’s just what I did. Zero packing or prep later, I loaded Ramsey into the van and we went off for some nature time. No agenda. The weather was moody and my energy was quite low, as it turned out. But it felt SO good to be out there. A break from the home office and house chores and daily routine. Sometimes that’s truly all we need to shake things up a bit.

After our hour long hike we returned to the van- just in time as it turned out, as it began to rain.
I love being in the van when it is raining. LOVE it. So I laid down on the floor of the van, put my legs up on the bench seat, propped a pillow under my head and fell asleep. I slept HARD out there. When I woke I enjoyed a few of the snacks I had in the van while listening to the rain and then drove home.

Just that short outing changed my mood and my day- it slowed me from rigor to rest. Apparently —rest that my body really wanted and needed.

I highly recommend the day trip whether you have a van or not. Take a personal or mental health day or PTO day or half day- whatever you want to call it. And get out there. No fuss.

That reminds me — did you know….

“The average U.S. employee who receives paid vacation has only taken about half (54%) of those days n the past 12 months, a new survey of over 2,200 workers by careers website Glassdoor found. This is relatively consistent with how much vacation time employees reported taking in 2014 (51%), when Glassdoor first conducted this survey. ”

— MarketWatch.com

So why aren’t we all taking every single second of our sacred and deserved vacation time ? Those hours could be spent sprinkling half-day or day -long trips into our weeks to mix things up and keep us recharged? 🤷‍♀️
…well, fear, mostly. Fear of getting behind or of being fired or of seeming like the lazy or greedy one at the office… loathing of the post vacation “re-entry” inbox nightmare. (Amen to that).
So, it’s crazy to me that we fear these things enough to skip our paid time off ESPECIALLY when we know it makes us feel better when we do —
Here’s a solution I LOVE:

“Recurring, scheduled mandatory vacation.
Yes, that’s right — an entirely new approach to managing vacation. And one that preliminary research shows works much more effectively.”

— HBR

“Designer Stefan Sagmeister said in his TED talk, “The Power of Time Off,” that every seven years he takes one year off. “In that year,” he said, “we are not available for any of our clients. We are totally closed. And as you can imagine, it is a lovely and very energetic time.” He does warn that the sabbaticals take a lot of planning, and that you get the most benefit from them after you’ve worked for a significant amount of time.”- HBR, What One Company Learned from Forcing Employees to Use Their Vacation Time  (HERE).

Last year, in 2020, I had planned to take a one-month sabbatical in March. It was the 10-year anniversary month since I’d formed my law firm and after 10 years of being in the day-to-day of the business AND serving clients, I was ready to punch out for a month. I’d spent close to a year putting this plan into action and as it got closer, I was over the MOON about “clocking out” of work and letting my mind be free of its demands. The elation I experienced in the leadup, despite the worries about how it would actually unfold, was super revealing to me about just how BADLY I needed the time off. I was “crispy,” as they say.

Enter COVID, March 2020, and the sabbatical never happened, per se… but instead I got a year of doing so much less in general, that it felt sabbatical-esque even though I was actively working. All of the extraneous stuff like travel to events and seminars were deleted from my calendar, my email inbox noticeably quieted, the legal profession calmed down, and court hearings, depositions, work functions and networking events all went virtual. The need to dress up, drive places, park my car in parking garages, go through security, manage traffic and that kind of logistical stress, essentially vanished.

The experience of Covid, 2020 in general, and the way it slowed us all down paired with my excitement as my planned sabbatical had approached, showed me just how powerful this model of taking one year off every 7 years, or of making employees take forced vacation or working for an employer who mandates time off, is and can be. We are ALWAYS better when we come back from a day outside, a recreational activity, time away from our norm. We are always better after we’ve napped, or sat outside sipping coffee and reading a book. We all KNOW this about ourselves. And yet we do not prioritize it. We wait for that long-from-now aspiration of “retirement” to “truly live” and to experience the freedom of taking time now and then to step out for a day hike or a nap.

I challenge us to adopt these concepts now, as the world begins to wind back up this spring, 2021— we cannot unsee what we have seen with the covid-related slowed down pace of life. Let us NOT knee-jerkedly, systematically, automatically, return to the way things were. Let us instead contemplate taking time off in the MIDDLE OF OUR WEEK JUST BECAUSE, and if we employ people, making them do the same thing. (As an aside- if you hire me to be your coach, I’ll be after you repeatedly and recurrently to take time off)…

Less chasing money… more enjoyment of free time.

Less chase, more rest.
Less vigor, more surrender.

(As an aside, we may be pleased to realize that with more rest, more ideation, more brainstorming in the moments of boredom, we actually do end up making MORE money AND having more free time, both).

I am talking about INTENTIONAL breaks in life’s madness and calamity: Pausing from passwords, logins, inboxes, apps. If we choose to forget what we’ve learned in the last year, shame on us. We were ALL dealt a rough hand with this global pandemic, and many suffered, including those who lost their lives, jobs and businesses. If we fail to adopt some of the positive takeaways from this experience, then I say again, shame on us. Globally we may never experience such a pause or forced slow-down again. If we simply rebound to the old ways, if we don’t make ourselves be BETTER now in this new way of doing things, if we do not FORCE ourselves to remember how the slower pace in business, life, law, bike racing, has BENEFITTED us, then we aren’t as evolved as we think we are. I want us to be better. To implement these new ways for the long haul. Let us learn from our mistakes, from these massive changes and upheavals, and let us proceed forward, better. More time off, for starters!

For incredible reading to challenge you, I highly recommend reading Patagonia’s current magazine/catalog article, “A Letter from 2030.” (Print only, I can’t seem to locate it online).
Oh, and— be sure to watch this video;

“Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness; obviously your life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if you are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day. ”

— https://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/30/the-busy-trap/

A Giant Slice of Humble Pie 🥧

Quick quiz…
1️⃣ it’s really important to cool down after a hard, short race.

2️⃣it’s really important to warm up before a race involving a “hole shot.”

3️⃣intervals are the only way to truly improve fitness and performance; therefore it’s important to include them in training each week.

4️⃣all of the above.

Before the start. ICYMI- Drinking coffee in the van is NOT a proper warmup. 👍

If you said 4️⃣above, you’d be right.
Even though I’m not new to bike racing I committed several cardinal sins today and acted like a total newbie: I didn’t eat three hours before my race. I didn’t cool down last night. I didn’t warm up this morning.
When the race started and my group took off uphill towards the single track I popped. Immediately. Legs imploded. 💥 My race was over a few minutes into the thing. I watched my entire AG ride away from me and I never saw them again.

As easy as it was for me to spend the next four hours reading myself the riot act, I didn’t.

I honestly didn’t.
I haven’t done many intervals or much structured training of any kind during the pandemic. Races were cancelled and TBH it turned into a nice long off-season. I rode when it felt good. I ran when it felt good. And after twenty years of structured training, racing, teaching spin classes and following interval regimens my body got a much needed break. It honestly felt the best it’s felt in a long time last year.
I’ve been riding lots of road miles in 2021 but without structure or intensity now and then, I haven’t made any gains towards race fitness. And I knew that.
I also knew this morning when it was cold and rainy and I sat in my van drinking the precious, aka my coffee, that I should’ve been out warming up. I knew that last night when I went from a full gas race effort to driving my van to the campsite and not cooling down, that my legs would feel awful the next day.

Sometimes, we must be reminded of the things we’ve learned already but forgot or pretended didn’t really matter…. today I got re-reminded.

In addition, there were some personal wins:

🏆 I started. I finished. I didn’t crash. I rode some techy-ish stuff that previously would have scared me. I had numerous chances on course to bail out to my van and drive away. Or nap. And I didn’t. My legs felt empty from the start and yet I kept riding. I ate … drank … focused on form and kept going and I felt better the longer I stayed on the bike… four hours later I finished.

This morning’s view out my van window ⛈

Sometimes just throwing a leg over the top tube on a cold rainy Saturday and pedaling four hours on the mountain bike is a win. I mentally stayed in a positive place even as I suffered - my legs did NOT get the memo that I needed their participation today. They felt like total 🗑! Today the head ruled the roost and kept my body in the game. Given the cold and rainy weather, had I been home I would NOT have ridden four hours on the road or inside on the trainer. So again- that’s a win; I netted some fitness today that I didn’t have this morning.
and …I filled up on humble pie. 🥧 Big time.
Last place by a LONG shot. Friends— first place finished over an HOUR ahead of me. In 40 miles that is a proper ass-whooping.
Yes. I’ve got work to do. Today was a wonderful reminder and kick in the pants.

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”

— Robert Louis Stevenson

Seriously MAD props to the women out here CRUSHING it. They’ve obviously been putting in the work. It’s super inspiring. I don’t love getting my ass handed to me but I do love the motivation-by-contagion I caught out here. 🔥

Love it when a fellow PeopleForBikes fan has the same socks ;) 📷 cred: Julie Lyon

Post race I was cold and wet. Found myself a hot shower in the campground showers and then made a warm lunch of udon noodles and hot chocolate ! Looking forward to another chill and quiet evening in the van out here in the desert 🏜 . The rain is a nice touch now that I’m warm and dry INSIDE the 🚐 😊!

Lunch was deliciously warm.

Wanna try some of this tasty HUEL?? I LOVE the spicy indian curry!! Click HERE to get $15 off your order!

Post race recovery (& dinner) looked like this:

Back to being a ‘Newb & Pandemic-versary

The tears welled up in my eyes today as I stood near the start line for the national anthem. It gripped me by the throat - more, I dare say- than ever before. My throat tightened and emotions bubbled up as I reflected on my reality:

I am at the start line of a bike race. 🇺🇸 🚲

One year ago, my world (and your world & the entire world) felt like it was ending. We were locked down and scared out of our minds with so much uncertainty, so many unknowns, so much panic. For the first time in my lifetime I went to my local Sprouts in March of 2020 and saw many of the shelves totally empty. How could we NOT panic when we saw our neighbors hoarding food and supplies?!

Colorado hard core locked things down right around St Patty’s day. That’s the day I really felt the shift and began to self quarantine because suddenly we were surrounded by this invisible, indifferent and apparently very random and contagious killer called Covid…. Those were the days when I wondered what was next - would banks & ATMs go bust? (Anyone else get charged by their bank for trying to withdraw cash to have on hand? 👋🏼… yeah that was scary as hell - they didn’t want to part with it). I remember thinking I should’ve stocked iodine tabs at home in case water became scarce. A generator suddenly sounded like a really good idea but I didn’t have one. We worried about whether the gas pumps would run out. We laughed about the TP shortage- kind of. A shortage of anything in this day and age was such a foreign concept…. How far would it all go? I grew tired quite quickly of the word ‘unprecedented.’ Ugh 🤦‍♀️ yes it was -and also let’s stop saying that word over and over.

I remember thinking how thankful I was that Waste Management was still coming to get our trash- because … what if they hadn’t ?
Eerily and overnight -rush hour disappeared. I mean vanished. POOF. I could have WALKED down Highway 58 in Golden or jogged down Colfax if I’d wanted to. I rode the 470 bike path along 470 and could count the cars on two hands. People joked about it being apocolypic and yes— it very much was.

I recall Nat Geo posting that new earth tremors were noticed because we’d all quieted down. The air in Denver was the clearest I’ve ever seen - atop North Table Mountain looking down on denver there was no longer that brownish haze. We all stopped going places and hunkered down. Mother Earth got to catch her breath. 🌍

The upside- we saw people taking to bikes like never before. Summer camps and school clubs and vacations were cancelled and families looked to bikes as one of the few things NOT cancelled. More people riding and fewer people driving meant we didn’t get a call in my office that entire 8 weeks from any injured cyclist hit by a motorist. It was a small win in the midst of an absolutely terrifying time.

A year ago I didn’t know if we’d ever get to bike race again. I didn’t know when I’d get to see the cycling community again. I didn’t know how long I would be locked up in my house unable to go anywhere.
And yet today there I was. About to toe the line of a race.
And let me tell you- it has been a MINUTE since I’ve had the pre race 🤮 jitters. I mean I can’t recall the last time I was so nervous and felt so new ….

Yes, I’ve been a bike racer for a long time. But (aside from one 50-mile mtn bike race years ago and the couple chill 12-hour mtn bike races I’ve done on my singlespeed), I’ve not honestly raced proper mountain bike events and certainly never one for 3-days/stages.
I felt like a proper NEWB. Aka newbie.
I had to readjust my expectations and goals. From trying to podium or win, as historically was the case, to instead— having fun (first 🏆), learning something new (second 🏆), meeting new people and not crashing (ties for third 🏆).

In total candor I was so nervous about this I almost talked myself out of coming to the race at all. That’s right. I almost chickened out. The fears of the unknowns and newness almost steered me into excusing myself due to rain or life stress or other reas…er, excuses.
I am so glad I didn’t chicken out. 🐔 Today I got to see racing through the eyes of a terrified newbie all over again. What kind of nutrition and warmup? What about kit versus skinsuit ? Will my fitness matter or will my skills hold me back? I don’t want to crash. Crashing hurts.

I texted my friend Shannon - a legit mtn biker- and asked him to weigh in on the skinsuit issue. And guess what. Several of my competitors also had skinsuits on - moral: wear what makes you feel fast. Period.

I was a BALL OF NERVES I tell you. And yet I had committed to myself to work more on moutntain biking in 2021– a commitment I made last year during the pandemic when I was looking for solace and a focus. Today I made good on my promise. I loaded up my new “big girl bike” and I decided to wear my “roadie” skinsuit and I gave it my all. I haven’t seen heartrates that high in years. I can’t remember the last time I have had the post-race “hack” … it has been a long time and it felt good to be back in the game.


As predicted … today’s short and punchy time trial looked like this: me crushing the climbs & losing precious time on descents /tech sections. Any time I would make up on a fitness-dependent spot I’d lose on a skills-dependent spot. I finished 6th out of 7 in my AG.

Now-the old megan would have been disappointed. This megan is thrilled we get to race at all and she’s thrilled she even toed the line today and she’s stoked she didn’t crash.

Tomorrow’s stage is the XC 40miler. Sunday’s stage is enduro format where we are timed based on fastest descent times on three segments.

I appreciate events like this which require a combo of skills and fitness. It’s what I once appreciated about cyclocross racing too. That’s not to say my fitness can’t use some work- it can. I haven’t done intervals in a realllllllly long time :)

So yeah- it’s fun to be a newbie again. It’s fun to do things that scare me and to enjoy them and push myself and yes- camp in the van too 🚐 …

I have SO missed my wonderful cycling community and it’s surreal to be back in the midst of it (albeit masked)… It’s something I won’t take for granted again that’s for sure. 🙏🏼

With lovely lady and friend Julie Lyon- she gets credit for race pics above 🙏🏼 💕

The afternoon and evening ended with a walk with Ramsey, camera time as well as a healthy van dinner and then some self care in the van like lax ball rolling and foam roller and meditation on the neck cradle. I got to try out my newest van toy- a usb /cordless mini blender. It was PERFECT for my post race recovery shake!!

Since I have signal out here in the van this trip, I’m keeping up with my nightly MasterClass sessions. This one on sleep 😴 has been really informative and interesting. I definitely recommend it.

Wanna try a free week of MasterClass? Comment below and I can email you a guest pass. (Limited to the first three takers).

VanLife: How and Where to Park It?

Now that I’m publicly posting and sharing some of my #vanlife adventures (here), I’m getting some great emails in my inbox asking me wonderful questions. Here is a recent one:

Good morning Megan — I hope you’re well. I secretly have a little #vanenvy of you and your van. So, I ’m reaching out to see if you have any tips to share!

I’ve made some progress on my cases, and I’m really close to renting a rig and driving it one-way to (my favorite destination) with (my kiddo) and Ace (my dog). It seems like a 4-day, 3-night trip, give or take 1-day/night. Any tips for me on things like where to stay at night? Should I make reservations in advance or go with the flow, etc.? What are my actual options about where to park at night to sleep?

Here is my short answer: YES DO IT! 100% yes. Go for it! AND. Plan ahead (a little bit)….

As sexy as it seems to “wing it,” winging it has yet to work out for me.

The trips where I’ve looked ahead, made plans to park or stay at a specific location, and even reserved a spot in advance, have hands-down been the best experiences. Those times I was driving and said, “I’ll see how far I get tonight,” or “I’ll go with my gut and stealth camp,” or “I’ll see what looks good when I get there,” just HAVE. NOT. WORKED.

You know what those nights looked like? You don’t - because I haven’t posted them anywhere. Because they’re not pretty. They ended with me parking my van in a hotel parking lot.

Those are NOT the dreamy #VanLife photos you see on IG. Those are the sleepless/awkward nights in the van spent regretting not planning ahead (or at least that’s how I felt).

By way of providing just a little context- I started my #Vanlife adventures back in Mid-December 2020, when the days were super short and the nights very long. It’s hard to consider stopping the drive for the night around 4:30pm, when it’s getting dark, as was the case on one of the nights I ended up camping in a Holiday Inn lot. I wasn’t ready to stop driving to scout a place in the daylight, only to sit in the van for 5 hours before bed. (Now-this was also one of those road trips where I was trying to get somewhere, too- it wasn’t an adventure of exploration, it was one with a destination I was rushing towards). Keep your daylight in mind as you map things out too. You’ll have more flexibility in the summer months when sunset is later. You can also set up camp earlier and enjoy having the van doors open and enjoy the outdoor space outside of the van (versus huddling in a closed van with the heater on during winter).

Lessons I’ve learned:

Trying to wing it or be spontaneous once it’s dark is not ideal for me. That’s because I cannot get a good “gut” sense of a place in the dark enough to know if it’s a good place to park and sleep for the night. Whether you’re a single woman traveling alone or a man traveling with his daughter (as my friend who emailed me above is), you cannot fully “feel” and survey your surroundings in the dark. You could park somewhere unknowingly that, had you seen it in the daylight, would’ve been a “hell no” to you ….

Also, you don’t get the chance to read reviews ahead of time if you’re going to stay at a specific spot or site. I’ve learned those are really good to survey. Sleeping is when we are most vulnerable. For me, peace of mind is how I sleep well in the van. Not feeling good about my spot means I don’t sleep. And that’s a fast way to take the fun out of van life.

Case in point: a few months ago, I made the drive from CO to AZ and en route decided to stop in Holbrook. It was dark, I was tired of driving, and it was a new stopping point that seemed ok to me (versus other towns along that stretch of highway). I’d checked the apps (I explain them below) and didn’t come up with any ideal solutions but some articles and blogs I’ve read about “boondocking” or “stealth camping” had indicated that local parks can often be a great spot to park it for the night. So I found a nice-looking residential park in Holbrook and parked off in a corner away from the street, street lights, and homes…. And I felt good there.

Until cars began to pull in one or two at a time and converge in meet ups in the other park corner … where it was dark… these could have been harmless teenagers out to meet up and have a smoke or a make out session away, or … they could have been partaking in some seriously sketch behavior.

I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to know. The point was they were acting sneaky in my spot and it suddenly did NOT feel safe. Argh. Home is where you park it… until you have to move.

I ended up relocating to one of the city’s newest and brightest-looking hotel parking lots. I parked, put up my window shades, and made dinner before going to bed. To pull off this kind of stealth camping, one does need to be self-contained, i.e., bathroom, water supply, no need to let the dog out and so on… and of course you do this at the risk that a property owner may come out and ask you to relocate at any moment. The brightly-lit parking lots at hotels make me feel safe, and the visiting-nature of the guests staying there makes me think no one is going to notice a van with out of state plates there (versus a quiet neighborhood street). It doesn’t make for great sleep with all the lights and often-late-arriving guests with car doors opening and closing. However it does feel safe.

But it doesn’t feel fun- like, at all … and the voice in my head sounds something like, “why did I buy a van to travel in if I was just going to end up back at a hotel…I could have saved myself the money and hassle, driven my normal car and just booked a hotel room here…”. That’s the inner bully in me that comes out when I don’t do “van life” the way I feel I “should” be doing it. Harumph.

All this to say — after a few times of sleeping in hotel parking lots under bright lights because I wanted to be spontaneous but then my safety and spidey-senses didn’t like anything I was seeing in the dark — I’ve decided spontaneity doesn’t set me up for optimal outcomes (or at least it hasn’t, yet). Now of course this depends on the nature of your trip… are you trying to get from point A to point B quite quickly (as I was) or are you meandering off the major roads and taking the smaller roads, off the beaten path? Are you in a 4x4 capable vehicle where you can park off a Jeep road or out on some dirt road or forest or mountain pass somewhere more desolate away from humans where you don’t really need to worry about being discovered whilst stealth van camping or you won’t be seeing humans, period. (And if that’s the case, then you are perhaps taking other concerns into account, like wildlife, getting stuck in snow or mud, or being offline/off signal/lost)….

For me -for maximum enjoyment - I’ve decided a little planning ahead and forethought makes for the best experience, where I enjoy myself and actually get good rest, and also where I avoid paying a bunch of extra costs and sticking myself right back into the midst of high-human-concentration.

A proper campsite to me, means ample space between spots and on this trip- a full moon, too!

Stated bluntly, RV parks and KOAs are not my thing. I purchased the van in order to be independent, self-sufficient, and to avoid expensive hotel stays, as well as to avoid sharing space with other people … so to drop $50/night at an RV park or KOA with ample humans all around me — isn’t my thing. For me, it defeats the purpose of the van, unless I really get desperate for a spot to park for a night. I

f I’m going to spend any money, it’s going to be on a campsite in a legit spot in a rad park with views and humans spread out. REAL spread out.

I’ve also been using a new (Colorado-based WOOT!) app called Harvest Hosts. With HH you pay a cheap annual fee to be able to stay for free at farms, breweries, vineyards, alpaca farms, and so on. It is literally a place to park the van- some are bigger and more spectacular than others — but all are property or business owners who’ve said “you’re welcome here, and it’s safe to stay here,” and that on its face holds immense value to me. So far I’ve stayed at 2 HH locations and messaged a 3rd (but ended up continuing to drive so didn’t stay).

All 3 owners have been amazing and friendly, and hospitable, and in each, I slept super soundly knowing I was in a place I was approved to be, that was safe, and also family-owned, and not shared with too many other campers, either. With COVID closing some of these places, the owners are still often willing to let you just pull up and park, no worries. (Again- you need to be self-sufficient, restroom use isn’t usually offered).

Other apps I like to consult and explore to research/reserve camp site spots, investigate dry camping on BLM spots, and more, include:

Campendium

Recreation.gov

National Parks

I’ve also heard Hip Camp is great, though I haven’t tried it out yet (and I hear it does overlap quite a bit with Harvest Hosts).

Another site that’s been recommended to me, but I’ve not yet used other than to check some reviews on some spots (i.e. road-side rest areas): https://freecampsites.net/.

Ok so… if you’re in a bind, you can’t find any camp sites, RV parks or Harvest Hosts …. or if it’s late at night and you’re focused on driving big miles or maybe you just need to stop quick and get some rest— then what are the options?

Well as I’ve mentioned, “stealth camping” means your rig looks like just a vehicle (ie a van, unmarked, no indication humans/kids/dogs are living/sleeping in it) and you park it on a city street or in a neighborhood to rest. Personally this isn’t something I intend to try. The reason is simple: as a home owner, if someone drove onto my street after dark and parked a van outside, and I didn’t see anyone get out, and the van stayed there overnight, it would cause me concern. I don’t want to stress out another homeowner and I definitely don’t want to have the cops knocking on my van telling me to move in the middle of the night. I found more info HERE.

“Boondocking” or free camping/wild camping/dry camping, usually means off-grid, away from services, away from amenities, and often, removed from other humans. This is a hugely helpful place to start HERE.

Taken a step further and in moments of desperation where you don’t care WHERE you’re sleeping so long as you’re not going to get run off because it’s permissible— shops like WALMART and HOME DEPOT, and Cracker Barrel, to name a few, allow parking lot RV camping.

Walmart’s official policy: check with each store first. READ MORE HERE.

Google “what stores allow free camping” and you’ll find some results near you, such as:

Since I began my vanlife adventures in the midst of COVID, I also learned that some states have closed many of their road side rest areas (for example, NM, almost all of the west bound ones were closed on my most recent drive). Each state and recreation area has different restrictions and limitations from totally closed, to half capacity, to fully open. Some that used to take online campsite reservations are only doing day-of, on the spot pay to reserve a spot, and so those scenarios leave some unknowns up in the air- if you’re counting on that being your home for the night, but you can’t reserve it ahead, and it ends up being full when you arrive, be sure to have a plan B.

I had this experience recently. I was planning a bike ride and several other aspects of a trip around my ability to camp on a mountain where I wanted to ride -the spot was not currently taking online reservations however. So to be sure I wasn’t totally SOL when I got there, having to scrap my ride and plans totally, I located a nearby B&B and emailed the owner, asking, “if all else fails, could I pay you a few bucks to let me park my van in your parking lot tonight?” She emailed me back and very kindly said yes (and tried to talk me into reserving a room). I didn’t end up needing it as I nabbed a camp spot where I wanted to be -but given her reply and helpfulness, if I ever need a place to stay in that area again, she’ll definitely get my business.

Now of course— “TRUE” van life pursuit probably means wanting to go off-grid and go somewhere off the beaten path in some scenic spot totally removed from humanity. AWESOME goal and aspiration and IG is replete with vanlifers who find those spots and their photos are amazing. Also though, (for me at least being out there alone), I don’t want to get myself into a position where the van could get stuck, where if I have a van mechanical and don’t have cell signal I’m going to be in a spot of trouble, or where legit wildlife may be a concern. There is remote and removed from city noise, and then there is too remote/too distant for my liking. Each vanlifer has their own risk tolerances, experiences, van capabilities, etcetera to evaluate.

With the lack of cell signal being a possible issue, allow me to mention 2 products in this category worth exploring.

1— WE BOOST signal booster— the one most often recommended to me has been the $499 one HERE. I do not yet have one so I cannot speak to this personally but the guy I bought my van from had one and swore by it for working while on the road.

2— Garmin inreach mini. This i DO have. It’s a satellite -based walkie talkie of sorts, that allows for communication via one’s cell phone (or the Garmin) to call for help or send short texts to your contacts. NOTE: you do need to pay for a subscription service to activate it, so plan ahead. I haven’t had to use mine yet, as the times I’ve been without signal it’s been a GOOD thing, and I wanted that reprieve from connectedness. If you’re truly going to go out into the wild in your van, I think this is a great investment.

Finally— and it really does state the obvious, but to be able to stealth camp or boondock or setup camp in a Walmart, or even to stay at some of the Harvest Host sites, having one’s own bathroom setup is essential. If you’re in an RV it’s a nonissue but for most vanlifers, a built in restroom isn’t part of the equation.

I went with the Luggable Loo and accompanying bags. It has been a life saver more than once, and I can’t recommend this enough. When it’s empty/not in use it’s easy to stash in the back with the bikes. If it’s going to be an overnight somewhere, whether a campground far-away from the restrooms, or a stealth camp in a hotel parking lot, having this inside the van makes staying stealthy, possible.

It’s also saved me having to stop for fuel or a purchase I didn’t need to buy, just to use a gas station restroom. It’s been awesome if I’ve stopped for fuel and feel like the gas station or area is dodgy, and not a spot I want to go inside to patronize.

Perhaps TMI but then again, the #1 question I always get about my van is, “does it have a bathroom” and I can honestly answer YES now that I’ve got this very affordable option along for the ride. ;)

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Vans can provide one helleva bedroom window view when you can crack the door and see this from your pillow!

Bottom line- van life isn’t any kind of SHOULD… some days and nights will be pure bliss with full moons, quiet campsites, perfectly-executed plans. And some will be late, dark, cold, sleepy, perhaps lost, and yes, maybe spent in a paved parking lot. It is going to be both: perfection AND growth opportunities. I hope you’ll show yourself some grace as you figure it out. There is no “THE WAY” in vanlife (or in any kind of life!)…. have fun with it, be adventurous, and be safe too.

**remember, as an Amazon Associate, I may earn commissions from purchases if you use my links above!

I very much still consider myself a vanlife newbie, so if you have tips/tricks to share, or followup questions for me, or both, please comment below- I’d love to hear!

No Cell Signal & Boredom (the good kind)

I’ve been out in the van for the past several days and nights in a spot where there is no cell signal. To be candid, while the riding and hiking nearby is stellar, the absence of 📱 signal in this spot was the main feature I sought out. I know myself well enough to know that just picking up the phone to check a couple texts quickly degrades into checking emails, instagrams, andddddd down the rabbit hole. 🕳 Nothing can snap a person (me) out of zen wilderness headspace quicker or more abruptly than one negative email or comment on socials. 

So here I am in the space of no signal sitting and drinking my morning coffee and just relishing the quiet- the lack of things to “do,” and instead focusing on being. 

JUST. BEING. 

Having done a bit of journaling to start, I am in a headspace now to process and download some recent experiences and conversations. To ruminate and ponder them and extricate the lessons or the growth now that they’ve percolated; I am ready to see the teachings in them and to try in some respects to adopt them into my new and evolving mindset. 

That’s the thing with those magical pivotal moments/conversations/experiences. It takes some time to go back and review them in order to try and seal in their flavor for the long term if they are mindsets or patterns one wishes to adopt. I recently read somewhere the mind has decided on something up to 7 seconds ahead of us being aware of it. This is what makes reprogramming old patterns so incredibly difficult. Oh and also we’re often up against primal patterns ingrained in us on a cellular level passed down for many many years to help us stay alive. Yeah- competing with that hard wired biology can be tough. 

“Oh there’s that thing I do- what is that?,” I can ask with kind curiosity.

Here’s the thing... We all have trauma, pain, past experiences that we bring into our present and often times they are so ingrained into our neural patterns that they run us. Without us knowing. Without our permission. They lead to the same outcomes in conflict. The same breakdowns in partnerships. The same self loathing or self flagellation by our inner bullies. The cycles perpetuate.

Doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results is—as we all know— insane. 

Call it COVID slowing down the pace of life overall (and forcing the legal profession to change its approach/adopt virtual practices) + losing my dog and my grandmother during the holidays reminding me how short and precious life is + a very traumatic near death experience last October (a sobering reminder of how short MY life is and can be) + the van coming into my life unexpectedly and giving me this chance to explore and slow down in quiet sacred spaces like the one I’m presently in .... plus maybe the stage of life I’m in, not a mid-life crisis but more an arrival at “enoughness” and the privilege it’s affording me to be curious about what my life can mean and represent going forward. Call it whatever you like…

And, regardless, I know that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be 🙏🏼.

On this trip I had a couple guests joining me for the first two days and first night. It was fun to enjoy the van experience with cohorts out in the wild for the first time. Turns out I laugh a lot more when I’m not out here by myself ;) Laughter is sooo good for the soul.

We enjoyed wonderful bike rides, an incredible camp site dinner and breakfast, delicious van coffee (of course), ease in conversation & connection, and ample laughs. It was wonderful sharing this space with them. I was lonesome when they left. And now I am enjoying the quiet and solitude of being here alone. 

I loved having them here AND I love being here solo now. 

This is one of the biggest ah-has for me in the last year or so: using AND. My coach Shelley gets the biggest credit for teaching me this and really helping me rewrite my vernacular to use AND more and BUT less. (Read more about this concept HERE).

All this to say ... out here away from signals and socials, it’s a truly incredible space in which to look within, when the clutter and noise of normal daily life are stripped away and I’m left with a quiet van parked in the sun, a day without any agenda or schedule, when I am able to tap into the creativity that flows through me most strongly when I’m in Spartan-esque environments. 

Boredom begets creativity and brilliance IMHO. (And much smarter-than-me people agree). I think we don’t get nearly enough boredom-moments in normal life. I think clutter and distractions rob many of us of our truest brilliance because it (creativity) comes out only when we’re truly free to let the mind wander without being pulled multiple directions by life. 

“Exchange your cleverness for bewilderment.”

— Rumi

When is the last time your mind could truly and freely wander?

The book I’m reading on this trip is called The Minimalist Vegan.

There are so many compelling reasons to be animal product -free in both dietary decisions as well as lifestyle decisions. I won’t digress too much further into this topic in an already-too-long blog but the truth is that awareness in all areas of life demands that we be conscious consumers of everything that we eat and buy. Minimalism stands for only buying what we truly need and use and eliminating or not buying the rest. It stands also for less clutter and confusion - including in our socials, apps & emails, and items we own/insure/maintain. 

I have noticed a direct correlation for myself between the phases of life when I’m consuming (stuff, food, social media), and when I’m feeling most out of control in my life. 

When I’m seeking something to grab onto ... some guiding light or orientation- I often default to complication and more stuff. Anyone else?

The truth is that filling life with clutter & crap will never lead us to our truth, guiding light, intuition or knowingness. Nope... All we do is unconsciously distract ourselves right away from our inner voice of wisdom and from life’s most important things... love, health, being. 

Is your default, distraction? Mine can be. I’m working on that. 

Out here in the van I realize that I needed this reset - something deep inside me was drawn to take this trip because I knew I needed to be physically and mentally removed from the norm of day to day in order to hit that reset and get back to basics. Get back to what really makes me feel good & alive.... back to my knowingness.

Sending you love and light 💡 ☀️ from out here in no-signal-land nature and hoping you find some zen in your day or that can soon you escape to a place where it’s virtually guaranteed. 

Go... Find a place where you can be bored. ✨ 

This is the tea I keep in the van (shown in the top photo). I love it for the cool nights when it’s dark outside, but too early to go to sleep — it’s the perfect pairing to reading or journaling, and the detox-theme carries over to detox from noise, stimulation, social media, emails and junk food and goes within, thanks to the tea.

This is the wonderful book I reference above. You can order your copy on Amazon using this link:

*Reminder, I’m an Amazon Associate, I may earn commissions from purchases you make using my links to products above.

DIY: rescue & refurbish project

I walked by this chest sitting next to a dumpster in the alley for a couple weeks. Every. Single. Morning.

Then, one morning I stopped. I looked closer and saw past the gaudy stickers to see a broken toy or clothing chest made of real wood in need of some TLC. I drug it home.

And promptly fell right down the rabbit hole also known as YouTube when it came to refinishing wood furniture. Although this chest is made of real wood and not laminate, it has a glossy coat on it. Oh yeah and a gazillion stickers. And broken hinges due to the wood splitting where they were screwed in. Thanks to the inter webs I learned a lot about what to do with it

Disclaimer: I am not a wood worker or furniture refurbisher, to be clear. This isn’t the kind of thing I’ve done a million times or have any experience with. I haven’t ever done it. But it satisfies my desire for a mindless yet productive task and I was highly motivated by the thought of keeping this out of the landfill. Might even learn a few things, I thought to myself. 🤷‍♀️ 🔨

First: sticker removal with razor blade and then sticker adhesive removal with chemicals (aka Goo Gone) and sanding. Rubber gloves naturally.

I knew I must be doing it right when I found myself covered in dust from sanding and the outlines from the stickers began to disappear…

Note- I didn’t decide to BIKE to Lowe’s to get all of the supplies UNTIL the stickers were all off. As if I lost patience there, then I wasn’t going to proceed in spending money on this. But once stickers were off I donned my helmet and rode to Lowe’s. Where I proceeded to invest almost $100 in products for this project. 🤦‍♀️

🤔 is it worth investing $100 and time in a project simply to reuse ♻️ something and keep it from the landfill? I could buy something new for $100 and save myself the time (and dust), but it would be cheaply-made for that price. I don’t know?! The jury is still out on this investment BUT what I will say is that the supplies can also be used for other projects also. (Hoping that proves true). Also -biking to buy this stuff made me feel a little better. 🚴 🌍 …

My YouTube research had taught me that I wanted to use chalk paint (not chalkboard paint) for this project. It is a more antique-y looking paint that doesn’t usually require any primer first.
So after sanding it down, I wiped it all down with mineral spirits and then began to paint.

And with roughly 5 hours of time invested (including the bike ride to Lowe’s and back), this is as far as I got before it got dark outside.
**added bonus to a project like this outside in the garage with the door up? Neighbors walking by and chatting it up about what I was doing. (Keeping their Covid-safe distance but still giving us an excuse to connect in some brief convo). That made me happy…. 😊

*to be continued. Stay tuned.

Lemmon & Dry Shampoo

In a nutshell, Lemmon lived up to its hype ...

That is the sweetest climb ever... one I will definitely come do again and one I recommend for every cyclist who loves to climb in the sunshine.... The gradient is gentle enough you can push the pedals and never have to stand due to steepness- the pavement is good, the bike lane/shoulder is pretty consistently present and wide-ish, and though there is steady car traffic, there are so many cyclists out that drivers seem to have an awareness and are more cautious driving around us (that’s how it felt but who knows?!). 

I parked a couple miles up from the bottom selecting my campsite for the night early into the ride. Then I rode up towards the top and once the temps stopped feeling warm and I started to see more snow and smaller shoulders, I decided to flip around.

Not really sure what the “top” of Lemmon technically is (ski resort? 🤷‍♀️), but since my goal was to 💯 % have fun, when it gets colder than I want to descend in warmth, I get to flip it.
So I rode back to the van, relocated it to my campsite, then descended all the way to the bottom where I spotted a cute coffee shop. I decided to “fuel up” on some delicacies- ie a croissant and a pastry with some black coffee, and then began the climb back up.

“Powered by pastries” should be a thing- I felt awesome. 💪🏼 🚀

The camp spot I chose featured spots well-distanced from one another and gorgeous views of the canyons and surrounding foothills-mountains. The AZT cuts right through here so after today’s ride, Ramsey and I hiked part of the AZT. Positively. Lovely. 

Even better ...

No cell signal here.
That’s right. That is still an actual thing. So this blog post was originally composed in my notes app and I did a considerable amount of journaling, making lists, and reading, from when our hike ended until it got dark. 

Honestly that’s some seriously glorious peace time. SPACIOUSNESS. It’s not often anymore we go places where we don’t have at least a HINT of a signal. But here - nope. And tonight I’m thankful for that. Ramsey and I are hanging at our camp spot in the near sunset hours, just chilling. I am so thankful I thought to bring my journal, and my Oak journal, and a book along for this trip. 

If one were to write a book, this would be the place and the way to do it ... coffee - morning run or ride — and then hunker down over an internet-less laptop and tap dance on the keyboard. $20/day till it’s done ;) Hmmmm 🤔 

When’s the last time you had four hours of absolute nothing from your last activity until bedtime ? I can tell you it’s been a minute for me. No tv. No laptop. Phone in use only for notes app. It is a forced pause and I’m super grateful for it. I see what all the hype about camping has been all these years when I was simply “too busy” to hear it. Grateful this van found me and that we’ve been able to do this now for a couple months. (Sheesh seriously the van only just turned two months old to me yesterday!).  
Ramsey is a huge fan of vanlife- and I can safely say it wouldn’t be nearly as fun if she weren’t along. I’m glad to have her as my copilot.

In other news since I’m dry camping out here — aka no showers or running water at this site — it presented the perfect opportunity to try dry shampoo for the first time ever. You have to understand I’m the girl who washes her hair at least once a day with bike rides, helmet hair, sweaty runs, bike commutes, etc. So this concept of using a powder to “wash” my hair has been one on my radar but not one I’ve been in a hurry to adopt.

Until now. Everything has its place, am I right ? 

So removing my hat from our sweaty hike post sweaty bike ride, I gave it a whirl. Sprinkle in, comb through.... I’ll say that yes it made my head feel better- drier & it smelled good ;) I’ll call that a win. Oh and ...be sure you don’t do this INSIDE your van ;) White powder = everywhere. Glad I did this outside !

All told, this trip cost me roughly one tank of gas, $20 cash for my first night at El Pais and $20 tonight for my campsite. Oh and $9 for coffee & pastries … So we’ll call it $80.

Now I fully realize there’s a large upfront cost to the van purchase, sales tax, licensing and insurance. I realize it’s a depreciating asset. But when I think about whether I would’ve come to Tucson in this covid-climate to do these rides and stay in hotels I think I can confidently say no I wouldn’t have. I also wouldn’t have wanted to drop $80-150/night on hotel rooms. And that assumes they’d let me bring Ramsey which is a deal breaker. The van allows us to be totally contained and self-sufficient. No unloading, etc. 

So far the van has been a Huge HELL YES for me — far more than I honestly expected. 

Here’s the quote that’s on my mind today:

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”

— Mary Anne Radmacher 

Yes… I’m such a die-hard Bulletproof Coffee drinker that when it’s van-trip time, I pack the Instamix packets to stir into my morning coffee. It’s the best and easiest way to start my day Bulletproof without the mess.

First Time to Tucson ...

While I’ve spent a lot of time in Arizona in my life, I’ve never made it to Tucson. When I began mapping out my vanlist dreamlist of places I wanted to do, Tucson was on the list. For very specific reasons: I wanted to ride the “loop,” this amazing network of protected bike lanes all over town, totaling close to 130 miles (basically, a bike advocate’s dream come true, short of visiting Copenhagen!); and, I’ve wanted to ride Mt Lemmon, a nice long sustained climb that I’ve heard about for years.

So I set up my work week to allow for a midweek visit. Because vanlife and living a life by design, on purpose, to me means maximizing the days and times during the week as opposed to only seeking fun and adventure on weekends — you know, when the rest of humanity is out doing the same. Friends, weekday exploration is where it’s at. So- looking ahead, I crushed work and adulting and then punched out for a Midweek adventure.

I have been using an app/membership called Harvest Hosts, since buying the van. I went to the app searching for cool spots to stay and found the most wonderful hidden gem - called the El Pais Motel. Looking at the photos and reading the reviews I knew it was a “hell yes” for me and contacted the owner.

This is Toni the owner. The woman never sits down- she’s constant hustle in motion. Her place is spotless.

I am a sucker for women-owned businesses. I am a HUGE sucker for mom-daughter operations and that’s just what this place is. I arrived and found myself in a funky, eclectic little haven. Perfect. I couldn’t put the camera down.

Even better - just .6 miles away is an “on ramp” to the “The Loop,” the aforementioned bike super highway… so after settling the van in and getting my sidekick Ramsey sorted, I embarked on an exploration of the Loop.

Having consulted the maps, and seeing that it did make a nice loop of Tucson, along with the comments I saw online saying it was mostly well-marked, I didn’t feel that downloading the .gpx file was necessary. Wrong. I had to learn this lesson (once) again— always download the route, when in doubt… it spares SO much stopping, second-guessing, iphone-consulting, perseverating…. so, I was not successful in riding the complete loop, sadly. I made a few wrong turns, and then to avoid being held up at a train crossing by what appeared to be the worlds-longest-train, I back tracked and rode some of the same stuff twice.
Regardless it was heavenly…. to ride so far away from cars, and to see some of Tucson that way — dreamy, I tell you.

And then I came back to my campsite, showered in the “clubhouse,” settled in… and sat still.

See- the best part of van life is- there is NOTHING to really do. There isn’t a house to clean or a stack of bills to pay, or any one of those million daily distractions and diversions that steal our peace and our joy. No - the van and its tiny living space allows for just a few things: relaxing, taking photos, eating, chatting with strangers in the park, sitting still, reading, journaling, blogging….( yes, work is always possible and yes I brought my laptop- but if the point was to intentionally punch out, I’m pretty good about not letting myself get sucked back in….).

After a recent coaching call with my amazing biz/life coach Shelley, I reviewed my notes from our call and this one popped out at me:

HOW CAN JOY BE A BIGGER DRIVER FOR ME?

Every now and then we need to sit in a spinning gold chair and feel some of life’s whimsy. 💫

Well this trip is a perfect example. It need not be long, or complicated, or expensive, or intricate to bring me joy- in fact just the opposite…. it is in the simple plans, the simple packing, the simple accommodations and the simple agendas, that I find joy.

El Pais at sunset 🌅 🏜… gorgeous

Why do I let normal daily life pull me out of this mindset? Chaos & complexity diminish my joyful mindset. I know this about myself- as I’m sure you do about yourself (or whatever your patterns/triggers are). And yet. And yet…. the suck of the marketing campaigns and the societal drives to be BUSY always BUSY and sooo important and COMPLEX…. it just pulls us back in. Lulls us right back into giving up our joy. DOGGONE IT.

Why is zen so elusive in the day-to-day?
Also can I just share the question that keeps coming up for me lately is, “what is enough?” In all senses of the phrase … stuff, achievement, success, money…. what’s enough? Do we know it when we see it? I contemplate this a lot.

Well back to Tucson… the overnight at El Pais was lovely. She has chickens here and they lay eggs and she includes FRESH FREE EGGS for her guests as part of the stay. I am not even joking you MUST come here and visit.

That’s right, I said FRESH eggs. As in FRESH 🥚!

What I’ve learned about vanlife as a solo female traveler is that my sleep is only ever going to be as good as the level of safety I feel & experience when I park for the night. I have weapons in the vehicle, as well as bear spray, mace and a dog - my best defense is my intuition and when things just feel off or I don’t feel totally secure when I lay my head down to sleep, it’s a restless and tiring evening. And not sleeping takes a ton of fun out of the van experience.

Staying in a spot like this, surrounded by other friendly and like-minded humans, in a gated spot, where I feel safe and I can truly rest & sleep… now THAT is a recipe for success.

Speaking of feeling safe, I do keep a small mace keychain handy when I’m out and about in the van especially unless or until I feel settled in a good spot. It’s good for peace of mind.

Perfect Van Life Meals?

It can be really easy to pack a bunch of junk before hitting the road, since “junk” tends to last longer, have extended expiration dates, be easier to eat on the go out of the package, and require less work….

But I have been intentional that I don’t want van life to turn into “Megan eating junk” life.

So I’ve been on the lookout for good nutritious meals and meal replacement shakes, oatmeals, and soups to sustain me on the road while also fueling my runs and rides along the way.

I’ve mentioned these guys in my previous posts but they warrant additional followup mention here again: my friends Zora & Josh the Colorado husband-wife duo behind Wild Zora — they make soups, oatmeals, bars, dehydrated meals and so much more … and the ingredients are high quality - organic and intentionally chosen!

I recently brought their oatmeal along on a journey and was reminded again just how GOOD it is … you can make the oatmeal right in the bag and have ZERO dirty dishes to clean up — plus it REALLY fills you up.

=Powerful fuel for your adventures + supporting a CO based company owned and operated by a family I know and love. By the way- yeah- they gave me an affiliate code but I’d be proselytizing this product even without any kickback. Seriously it’s that good. Vegan options. Paleo options. Something for everyone.

Using my link below, you’ll save 15% on your Wild Zora orders and I’ll earn 15% commission. WIN WIN!

—-> Click HERE to order!

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As a second road trip-adventure fuel option, I began hunting for the ideal protein powder/complete meal replacement mix … something I can drink while driving ;) Something that will keep me awake while I’m driving and won’t send me into carb-sleepy-time.

Enter— HUEL.

HUEL’s product, label, and website is clean- the marketing and branding is genius. You get a free shaker & T-shirt with your first order too. The peanut butter protein mix is YUM. 😋 They also make a coffee-protein powder for a little energy boost. And low and behold, they not only make delicious protein powders, they also make savory meal mixes that only require hot water and are PACKED with loads of vitamins & minerals!

The spicy Indian curry is SO good —and it comes with a cup for mixing and eating, so all you have to do is add hot water ! 🍛

If you decide to try some HUEL, I would be delighted if you’d use my affiliate code/link here:

https://huel.mention-me.com/m/ol/pb5bo-megan-hottman

Campsite experiment

So after parking the van for a couple weeks now, it’s funny how much I was itching to get her back out into the wild.
(Truthfully I was needing some wilderness and so was Ramsey but I didn’t know just how much until we got out here).
and— it is her (the van’s) one-month anniversary so I felt a celebration was in order! ;)
For this third outing I decided to try a campsite in a regional park - which boasts hundreds of miles of trails. Far enough away from city life and hustle bustle but contained enough for me to feel safe and not a super far drive to get here.

While I knew it would mean camping near other humans, I also continue to learn and refine my processes & I feel like these baby steps are best done when civilization is still fairly nearby.
Plus- restrooms. *And this one came with an unexpected bonus: a hot shower !

Ramsey and I loaded up and went to the park. When we arrived I learned all tent spots were full because- wait for it … there is a bike race here today !! Hahaha. Seriously that struck me as funny. I was attempting to get away & I got myself right into the middle of a mountain bike race. 😆
LESSON: always check your target park or campground website in advance for special events & to ensure there will be a tent spot /campsite. 🤦‍♀️

Well- luckily there were still spots in the overflow parking which TBH is the best area since it’s removed from the mayhem of the main camping areas where the racers are all staying AND it has the newer restrooms. I found myself parked near three other vehicles and their occupants proved to be super friendly neighbors. Each of them taught me something new tonight. So for that and the conversations I am super grateful. I do love talking to strangers.

Once we parked and settled in, we set out for a nice long midday run/hike. Ramsey was over the moon to be out here doing the work. This is where she truly thrives. She is the opposite of a couch potato !

Post run, I tried to chase rehydrating with a tall bottle of Skratch. I feel like hydration is a battle I am constantly losing out here in the desert 🐪 😓.

After that I came back, changed, and got on the Cannondale Fsi hard tail mountain bike for the dusk golden hour trail bliss. Hardly anyone was out there- I assume the racers were all resting up for tomorrow and the light and vibe out there was soooo good.
The paparazzi snagged a couple pics of me wearing my brand new Champion System 3/4 trail jersey with our latest custom design featuring my spirit animal, the hummingbird. We called it the BE FIERCE kit. It’s rad. (Artwork by my friend Luis Soto). Something about the desert 🏜 + the mindset I was in + the new kit gave me wings. 🐦 The simplicity of the singlespeed always brings me joy, too. No complications- no fuss.

Once back at the van, it was time to hang out my gear to air dry for a 2nd use tomorrow. I’m not gonna lie I had a lot of fun setting up these photos. (Side note: if van life has taught me nothing else so far it’s that the smallest littlest tasks are worthy of extra time and attention and reward me with the most joy).

Ramsey and I took in the incredible sunset tonight and went for a quick walk before dark. I tell you what- I am a mountains and colorado girl in my soul forever, AND the desert has also always had a piece of my heart ever since I was a little girl. 🏜 🌵

Grandma Jane wintered down here and after years of visiting her during the winters, I always wanted to spend my winters here too. Not when I eventually retired mind you- but as soon as it was possible.
For the first time ever, and it’s worth really noting this and me celebrating it, I am finally living that dream and it’s my current reality. Covid has made lawyering possible from anywhere with everyone on zoom and I am taking full advantage. 🙏🏼

Last, it was time for my most favorite part of vanlife: meal prep. Tonight’s random meal consisted of a noodle bowl, blueberries, salt&vinegar chips, hot chocolate and seltzer. Not the healthiest ever, but it really hit the spot and it was all doable with hot water heated on the van stove.

The night ends with me typing this blog while my legs are up recovering and getting ready for another active day tomorrow. 😊

In summary it was the perfect day- dog, van, sun, outdoor movement and exercise, dinner, rest, camera and photography practice, a little contemporaneous blogging and … I’m off to catch some 💤 😴 so I can do it all again tomorrow.

Stay hydrated and energized on YOUR adventures! I recommend Skratch Labs (made in Boulder, CO!) drink mixes for your bike rides and trail runs! Order some using the link below!

**As an Amazon Affiliate I may earn commissions from your purchases.

Christmas 🚐…

Tonight marks the second night in the van. The photos show the Instagram version. Gorgeous right? A friend suggested we set up camp for sunset and the overnight up on a semi-close mountain, overlooking the valley from about a mile-up. Sounded ideal. We had the place virtually to ourselves, it being a holiday at all.

Seemed like an awesome plan in theory.

Reality was something else. ;)
LESSONS:

1) don’t pack and leave quick after a big bike ride without eating something first. Or I’ll be hungry when I get where I’m going. Like. Real hungry.

That’s important for this point: 2) don’t ONLY pack foods that require hot water to consume. After driving quite a ways -including over tough gravel roads replete with washboards and such- (this drive wasn’t for the faint of heart), I arrived, -unpacked, -and set up camp ONLY to realize I could not get the stove to work AND all foods that I packed require hot water to eat (oatmeal, dehydrated meals, coffee, hot chocolate). Add this to my aforementioned hungry stomach, and it does NOT = a happy Megan. 😠

We (and by we, I mean me) learned: Always pack extra snacks that don’t need hot water. AND-Always check things like the stove BEFORE unloading everything and setting up camp. And don’t start an adventure on an empty stomach.

Ok so I loaded back up. Mad myself, you can be sure. Battled that doggone bumpy road back into a nearby town. Found a grocery store still open at 7pm on Xmas eve and bought myself a set of California rolls & a bubbly water dinner. Then I drove to a trailhead that is far off the beaten path and settled in …. Anddddd realized user error was the problem with the stove before. 🤦‍♀️… that’s right. I got it to work. Geez Louise. 🔥

So— I rehung the Xmas lights inside the van. 🎄 Made myself some hot chocolate. Settled in for an amazingly quiet and different kind of Xmas eve.

Solitude…. It’s a way to reframe being alone. Loneliness inherently carries negative connotations… Solitude is empowering IMHO. I can honestly say I enjoyed my solitude out there and did not feel the least bit lonely. Ramsey and I had a wonderful time.
It was so quiet.

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self”

— May Sarton

And then- oh my gosh - Christmas morning …. what a view outside those 🚐bed windows …! We were gifted with an incredible sunrise. 🎁

I made coffee for the first time ever in the van … (could that be any more enjoyable ?! Life’s simplest pleasure and most divine!) … and then we got out on a nice early hike. A second coffee and some apple turnovers plus 9 miles of fresh air hiking & sunshine vibes made this one ideal Christmas morning. 🙏🏼 🌲 🌄 🌵 🐶 ☕️

Talk about a room with a view !

Thank you 🎅!

“I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”

— Henry David Thoreau

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Here are some photos from the very FIRST van overnight a few nights ago ….

I would love to say these beauties were taken at my campsite. But no. The truth is that the sunset that night was at 4:48pm and I wasn’t ready to stop driving. And so it came to be that I ended up parking in a Holiday Inn parking lot to sleep that night around 9pm. Not winning that’s for sure.

LESSON: That’s the night I learned to choose a spot that is NOT right off the main road.

yes—so many things to learn - that’s why I’m showing myself grace as I go. This is all a master class in life and I’m ready to soak it up.

Here’s the book I’m currently reading; it’s an ideal book to ponder while I’m out exploring and camping in the van. It’s a book I need to read slowly, not rush through, and really process. It’s been recommended to me so many times by so many people - and I’m really enjoying it so far.

*NOTE: As an Amazon Associate I earn commissions from qualifying purchases.

** Speaking of vanlife and healthy hot oatmeal to kick off my daily adventures on the road— allow me to introduce you to my friends over at Wild Zora! Founded by fellow EO members/husband-wife duo Josh and Zora up in Loveland, CO, these products are amazing and PERFECT for van life as well as healthy life in general.

Using my link below, you’ll save 15% and I’ll earn 15% commission. WIN WIN!

—-> Click HERE to order!

Van Life: And So It Begins...

I am in a season of immense grief.

Like- the kind you can’t see the end of, the kind that grabs you by the throat at the most unexpected times, brings you to your knees sobbing… that kind of grief.

My grandmother was diagnosed with COVID in early November and was hospitalized - she went downhill quite quickly, and passed away on Thanksgiving. I was so fortunate to be able to fly back to Omaha to see her just days before she passed. But given the cruel reality of the COVID situation, we weren’t able to sit with her, to hold her hand, to be in her room- we were forced to peer in at her from the building’s exterior window- and to speak to her using our cell phones talking to her via her room’s speakerphone.

By the time I got to see her, she was no longer speaking, eating, or drinking. But she could still wave- and hold eye contact. It was two days of freezing rain and sleet, soaking through my puffy jacket, as I stood outside her window weeping and talking to her - until my phone battery would die. At which time, I’d walk back to my hotel, plug it in to charge, try to dry my soaked shoes, before I’d go back once again to her window.

A few days after seeing her - I learned from my father that she’d passed away Thanksgiving evening. The reminders to call her Sunday night still pop up on my calendar- and I’ve still got a few of her recent voicemails. It’s surreal, to be in this world now, without her. I don’t know that it will ever fully set in.

She and I would LAUGH uncontrollably… ;)

I had the amazing honor and privilege of writing her eulogy… and it should have been delivered live, in a church packed full of people who came to see her off and pay their respects… instead, it’s been recorded as audio for a website link that will be live for 30 days. A virtual funeral…. this is the age we live in.

A week after her passing, I drove to Gettysburg SD, my birthplace, and the site of her burial, for her “wake” and cemetery graveside service. There were 5 of us present. It has been so hard to see my grieving dad and uncle mourn the loss of their mother. Our entire family has been rocked by this loss. Yes, she was 94.5… but she was also active, healthy, and independent just weeks ago. It feels surreal.

Yet. Here we are.

Oh my sweet Grandma Jane, you are so very missed.

At some point in this midst of this, a good friend in Nebraska texted me telling me he was selling his built-out van, (since he and his wife loved life on the road so much, they’ve decided to upsize from van to motorhome). I told him I’d keep an ear out for someone who may be interested…. it wasn’t even remotely on my radar but I figured I’d find someone to check it out.

On my solo 9-hour drive home from the funeral in SD, I began thinking in earnest about the van…. I asked for more information about it, and the more details he sent and the more photos I saw, somehow I began to sense that it was the right move for ME to buy his van. I can’t explain it … I didn’t have any specific plans for it at the time- I didn’t have any real intention towards it— but my gut told me to just trust it.

And so, a week after the SD trip, I went to Lincoln, Nebraska, grabbed the van and drove it back home. This was a Wednesday. The entire drive home I began envisioning things I could do with the van-trips that I could take, the options it gave me and my 2 dogs to road trip without having to mess with hotels, etc. In the era we’re living in of COVID, this is a huge benefit. We would be totally self-sufficient, and could see things off the beaten path, via van trips.

With much of law practice shifting from in-person to online/virtual, I can work remotely while maintaining the same caseload I’ve maintained for years - so long as I’ve got internet, literally anything is possible.

I can represent my clients well - perhaps even better than every before -from anywhere.

Yes. Please.

When I arrived home, I “christened” the new ride by making a cocktail in the “kitchen” at the end of my driveway…. A negroni — (the alcohol-free version, thanks to Lyres) - delicious:

The next day, Thursday— two weeks after we lost Grandma Jane…. my beloved peanut butter pitbull, Phoenix, began crashing hard on me. At 14.5 years young, she was the human equivalent of 100 years old. And while she’d been given a dire prognosis back in July, she’d continued to go on walks, beg for food, cuddle and be her true self all summer and fall. Until Thursday night. I stayed up all night with her on the couch and by Friday morning it became apparent she was telling me she was ready to go.

Friday afternoon, December 11, I found myself at the vet- holding her in the “rainbow bridge” room, telling her goodbye— overcome with sobs and emotions — and even shock once she was gone …. my immediate reaction was, “NO! I change my mind, bring her back!” Oh my God, that agonizing pain- the way part of your heart gets ripped out.

I don’t know how I ever drove myself home.

Phoenix rode in the van only once - that one, last drive together - to her journey over the Rainbow Bridge. I wish the vet’s office had been hundreds of miles away. I wish our drive had been longer together. I wish I had more time with her. Ah… I wish. So many things I will miss about her. And my heart is so full of gratitude for having had her by my side for 14 and a half years. What a gift and blessing she was.

Oh my sweet Phoenix, you are so very missed.

“It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.”

— -author unknown

It is devastating and heartbreaking - grief stacked on top of grief.

And let’s not forget, we are in the midst of continued COVID lockdowns and limitations, holidays looming, the days are short and the nights are long and the weather is cold. I struggle with friends and family I’d love to see and hug, who say we cannot be together, while I observe them socializing with others or breaking their own rules... I know no one really knows what to do during all of this, but as someone who craves her support system now more than ever, It’s been a brutal and isolating combination of multiple forces overlapping all at once.

I have responded to this by sleeping... A lot. I put myself to bed REALLY early these days.

I also know it won’t always be this painful.

The sun WILL come out tomorrow — perhaps not in my heart for a few weeks or months- but it will be bright again someday. I am just in one of those really hard seasons right now… I can’t see when it will end, or how … all I can do is trust in the knowing that someday it will feel better.

And so, this is how my van life story begins:

In grief.
In deep sadness. In pain.

Should we run from it and busy ourselves into avoiding it- or should we sit in it fully, until it subsides?

I don’t have the answer to that. I am taking it as it comes.

This entire year has been about surrender for me. Now more than ever I am in full surrender mode. What’s next?

I don’t have to know.

What I do have, is a new van, and my dog Ramsey, by my side. And together, she and I — we’re going to go have some adventures.

If these past few weeks, plus a near-death experience back in October, have taught me nothing else, it’s to get busy livin’ …

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Where did I begin my vanlife research? Well, with books, naturally…. Here are the first 3 I’ve purchased and read. The 2 vanlife books are really helpful and inspiring! I specifically chose one by a male author and one by a female author, one more focused on outside-the US travel, and one focused on travel w/in the US. And- The Parks book is like a road trip wish list!

*NOTE: As an Amazon Associate I earn commissions from qualifying purchases.

** Speaking of vanlife and healthy foods for my adventures on the road— allow me to introduce you to my friends over at Wild Zora! Founded by fellow EO members/husband-wife duo Josh and Zora up in Loveland, CO, these products are amazing and PERFECT for van life as well as healthy life in general.

Using my link below, you’ll save 15% and I’ll earn 15% commission. WIN WIN!

—-> Click HERE to order!

White Rim In A Day: A Bike Adventure

On October 21, 2020, I experienced a harrowing near-death experience while riding my bike in the bike lane through downtown Golden… my instagram post compiled shortly thereafter tells the tale:

I went back to the scene 2 days later, that Friday evening, and walked the steps and path, counting one-one thousand, two-one-thousand as cars passed by at the speed limit of approximately 25 mph. The police officer who responded to the crash above calculated the driver’s speed at 65-70mph. He would have closed in on me within seconds from behind, I would have never known the difference or seen it coming, and it would have been permanent - lights- out for me. That very afternoon my parents were arriving in town to visit me, and they would have been confused by why I wasn’t home. My heart hurts to think of it.

The good news is that in the days prior to this experience, I’d visited Moab. I’d ridden my mountain bike there for the first time ever with a very close friend who was patient with me and helped me learn as we rode- she’s such a role model to me on the bike and in life in general. And then I’d spent all day that Tuesday exploring Moab with a new friend who took me “Jeepin’” (my first time ever) on the 4x4 trails there, and we’d wrapped the magical days by enjoying sunset hikes in Arches National Park.

“The recurring thought that went through my mind as I rode home from the above-pictured event, was, “if my last day would have been yesterday, that was an amazing day of being outside, breathing fresh air, seeing new things, experiencing the world and connecting with amazing people. And if that was my last day, I would have been very happy to go out with that as my final experience here.””

— -Megan

So… with that as the backdrop- I got a LOT more serious about my bucket list of things I want to do before I die. With COVID I decided to focus on things I could do closer to home, i.e., drive-able - safe- outdoors - inexpensive - accessible. While I suspect we all have places we want to see and experience around the world, there are always plenty of treasures to be discovered closer to home, too.

One such item that moved to the top of my list was riding the White Rim in Moab- in a day. And I found myself blessed with a travel partner with a 4x4 capable Jeep- a vehicle that is set up for such an adventure, (versus a stock vehicle like mine which would get destroyed on such a trail). I found myself with no reasons NOT to pursue the goal…. but mind you, I fell victim to some of those doggone “shoulds” for awhile. We can get in our own way now and then, can’t we?

It takes courage to say YES to something scary. It is always FAR easier to stay home, to stay in the same daily routine, to talk about the bucket list without actually taking steps to do the big audacious things… Even as adventurous as I am, taking the actual steps to go do something big for the first time is always challenging. (PLEASE-GO DO IT ANYWAY!).

I got clear on my YES— YES, I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS! — and with the weather forecast sealing the deal (warm, dry, no wind!), off we went to Moab.

RECON:

I talked to a friend who’d ridden it and she assured me I had the skill and fitness to capably handle this…. I did as much online recon on websites /blog sites as I could as we drove to Moab. The Mountain Bike Project app/website provided a great downloadable- GPX file for directions and descriptions of some of the things we’d encounter. Friends said it was doable- but a big day- and warned yet again, “don’t take a vehicle out there that isn’t super 4x4 trail capable.” We were cautioned that SAG support would have a hard time keeping up with me on the bike due to the trail conditions, but we dismissed that, thinking we’d be different in our riding/driving capabilities somehow. I downloaded the file to my Garmin for turn-by-turn nav, but to be honest, the trail is pretty obvious the entire day.

THE GEAR:

I chose to ride my full suspension Mountain Bike out there even though plenty of folks have done this on a gravel bike or a hard-tail mountain bike. I decided comfort and fun would make the day the absolute best, and I was very happy with my bike choice. I think it’s easy to dismiss the trail as a “jeep road” but it’s rough terrain out there, and my body was grateful for the suspension-kindness. Five-Stars for FULL SQUISH.

Shafer descent down into the canyon. No guardrails — proceed with caution but be sure to soak up the views!!!

THE DAY:

Shafer descent down into the canyon. No guardrails — proceed with caution but be sure to soak up the views!!!

This would not be a FKT attempt for me (Fastest Known Time) but rather a mission to enjoy the day, take photos, see the sights, feel the feels and live the experience fully. (Also, possible recon for a future FKT?!!? …TBD). We decided to ride the route as recommended on the Mountain Bike Project site- - clockwise. We started at the Shafer Trail trailhead and decided that Erik (my Jeep SAG support) would wait a few minutes and give me a head start (we thought that would be best so I wasn’t breathing in the dust from the vehicle by riding behind him). I enjoyed the descent down those switchbacks dropping me down into the canyon. GORGEOUS.

I couldn’t believe I was finally doing it -and I’d never ridden anything like this- the scenery, rocks, landscapes were breathtaking. (“…is this really my life?! How am I this lucky?”).

Off I went and occasionally would look back to see if I could see the Jeep. Every now and then across a canyon I could spot him. But eventually the way the canyon trail winds back on itself so much, around so many curves, I lost sight of him behind me.

Unbeknownst to me, Erik was pushing the Jeep to its limits to try and catch me — vacillating between frustration that he couldn’t drive over the rough terrain any faster without ripping up the Jeep, and thinking he’d likely missed me somewhere at a pull out or bathroom because there was no way I could be so far ahead of him. Dodgy cell signal made our communication difficult. Note: If you are doing it this way- use the trailhead spots and time to communicate to your SAG -not your mileage.

“As a first time SAG driver, I expected I would be able to provide the support Megan needed, when she needed it, and then pull ahead of her to reach the next checkpoint. WRONG! Even as someone who considers himself to be somewhat skilled in the off-road world, with a vehicle that is definitely capable, I couldn’t keep up with her! I was pushing it way too fast to try to catch her and I was really concerned about what I was doing to the Jeep. She was killing it and I just could not keep up. She was a rockstar! Next time, I’d have a different plan in place to allow me more time in the beginning to reach a predetermined location in order to provide her better support...and decreased stress on both of us as well as the Jeep.”

— Erik M., Jacksonville FL

Lesson I learned: I should have said, “I’m passing ____ campground and it’s (TIME)” so that whenever he got the text he could have seen where I was relative to his position. Instead, I made the mistake of texting “I’m at mile ….” (Whoops). We reconnected around mile 35 when I stopped to talk to a family and after that it was smooth(er) sailing. We tried to let him go ahead for awhile, but I was right on his bumper— there is no doubt, the bike can cover that trail so much quicker than anything with 4 wheels.

(Note: it was SUPREMELY satisfying to be able to overtake and outpace the vehicles out there all day long- even the most worthy 4x4 vehicle couldn’t hang with the bike ;) .

As the miles clicked off I realized I was enjoying a “no chain” kind of day-feeling amazing mentally and physically. The views were incredible and ever-changing. I took as many photos as I could. We saw very few cyclists /4x4 motorists out there-it was a glorious day to enjoy the Rim and have it mostly to ourselves.

The Route:

When you ride it clockwise, you finish the Rim up a brutal climb that is only SLIGHTLY less steep than the Shafer descent was- it’s a big punch in the legs when you’re 80 miles into the day. Due to Daylight savings having just taken place a few days before, and my desire to wait to start my day until the temps had warmed a bit (versus starting at first light), I began to run out of daylight as we exited the rim and hit the 10-mile stretch of open unnamed gravel road, (which then drops you onto the road for the final 10-mile section if you’re going for a complete loop and the full 100-miler). As it grew dark and I donned my lights, the temps dropped big time. Even putting on additional layers, I couldn’t warm up after being soaked in sweat coming up that last monster climb. My feet were suddenly frozen. With the Jeep behind me and my body feeling cold and unsteady, I decided I didn’t need the final 10 miles of gravel and 10 miles of pavement to make it a perfect loop— I’d already had the perfect day. Perhaps when it’s warmer in the spring and there is more daylight, I’ll strike out again to ride the full loop.

One thing to consider: some riders prefer to get the big climb out of the way first. You could either have your driver drop you at the base of Shafer and climb that first and proceed counter-clockwise on the loop, OR you could have your driver drop you at the Mineral Canyon Climb and climb that first, proceed to the 10 mile gravel stretch, hit the pavement, roll to the top of Shafter, and then finish at the base of the Mineral Canyon climb -which is probably the ideal way to go if you want to get that big ol climb done early.

If you haven’t picked this up by now I’ll restate myself once more: Do NOT under-estimate the gnarliness of the trail when you select your SAG vehicle.

I was lucky enough to have a very capable driver who is accustomed to doing extreme obstacles and trails in his Jeep- which is outfitted with WAY -beyond- stock upgrades in terms of lift, tires, bumpers, winch, etc. I promise you --the website descriptions of some parts of the trail significantly underplay some of the gnarly sections, especially the 2 super-steep uphills. Bring an experienced off-road driver!

Of course it goes without saying- - be a trail steward and cycling ambassador— it’s a $30 fee for your vehicle to get into the park AND then you also need to get your day pass to be out there! If you plan to break it up into multi-days, reserve a campsite at one of the many spots along the way. But if you’re riding it in a day, just get a DAY PASS and save the confirmation to your phone or print it out. We encountered a Park Ranger out there and he asked us about our plans and confirmed we had our pass and THANKED US for doing what was asked of us — it’s for your own safety, also, as they ask for your vehicle description in the event search & rescue needs to come find you.

All in all, it was an incredible experience, one I highly recommend if you’ve not done it- and it’s one I’ll definitely do again now that I know what I know!

Pack a LOT of water- it is NO joke out there! And bring your camera and a smile- this is like one giant playground to be enjoyed and savored on 2 wheels or 4.

““Hey, I’m thinking of heading out to Moab to ride White Rim Road tomorrow...” When you associate yourself with badass go-getters, receiving texts like this is the norm. Now knowing the impetus behind this ride, the narrow escape from Ford St in Golden, Hottman is setting an example that we could all follow in 2020. What is left on your list, and how can we get after it? In a year void of major endurance events and races, we can use this time to chase dreams. So, what are you going to do first?”

— Thomas Stott, Elevation Running/ coach