Eliminating Clutter ... Freeing Up Energy.

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This is unacceptable.

This is unacceptable.

Did you know that your stuff could literally be killing you?

It could be causing or contributing to mental health issues, like depression or anxiety, and it could be causing or contributing to procrastination, and general feelings of unhappiness and overwhelm?

It’s true … and the studies confirm it.

“...clutter can negatively impact mental well-being, particularly among women. Clutter can also induce a physiological response, including increased levels of cortisol, a stress hormone.”
— https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/03/well/mind/clutter-stress-procrastination-psychology.html

I don’t know about you, but I refuse to let “stuff” drag me down. After years of mindless consumption, paired with a home big enough that storage space wasn’t a limiting factor, I got really clear on how full my life was awhile back and I’ve been on a mission to change it. For the last couple of years I’ve been really intentional about clearing more white space in my home and at my office. And sometimes, it’s taken me clearing a space or area to fully and finally realize the impact that the previously-cluttered space was having on me.

Have you ever cleared an area and then when you spend time in the new space, you feel lighter, more at-ease, even breathing feels easier, your heart rate noticeably slows? Yeah. Me too. And I want that for every room and space in my life - my home, my garage, my office, my car, my drawers and cabinets. I refuse to let my “Stuff” cost me more than it already has - the price I paid to own it, the time and energy I invest to store/maintain it, and the mental energy expended on looking at it, trying to decide whether to move it, keep it, donate it, sell it, throw it out.

Question: Why is it SO easy to make a split-second decision in a store to buy something, or to click online to order something, but we will let analysis paralysis freeze us in our tracks when it’s time to dispose of the thing? The decision fatigue around what to do with something once it’s in our homes should be reason enough not to let anything else cross the threshold and ever come into our home again!

Case in point: I’ve got a gorgeous TAG watch I bought myself back in 2012 when my law firm started doing well. It was my “reward” for a successful year, and in addition, I thought a successful lawyer “should” own and wear a nice watch. I had buyer’s remorse so badly the following week I tried to return it, but the jeweler said no. So it’s been in a box in my drawer - where I see it daily - and I feel contempt, resentment, and regret when I see it. It’s not my style - I prefer my trusty Garmin Fenix 5 watch on a daily basis! And it feels wasteful - knowing if I’d invested that money, the amount I’d have now in a bank account makes my stomach turn.

And yet I’m frozen in my decision about what to do with it. I’ve contacted watch consignment sites, they will only offer a fraction of what I paid for it. I’ve had the battery replaced, intending to list it on E-bay or Craigslist, with the note “brand new battery installed” … . only to let it sit and watch the battery die over another year of nonuse. The amount of bandwidth I’ve devoted to this one purchase is insane. And it eats at me. Anyone else relate to this conundrum of how to eliminate the things from our lives which no longer serve us?

We must be ever-vigilant about letting things IN. I often say “stuff is pernicious.” That one chapstick you buy in the checkout line, that one race T-shirt you bring in from the SWAG bag they gave you, that one scented candle that joins the other 2 … one at a time, these small items seem innocent, but all of a sudden BOOM they are overwhelming as a whole and the dilemma about their elimination begins once again. There is no doubt we must be FIRM in our management of what crosses the threshold and comes in.

Here are some of my tips (rules, actually, I thrive with hard and fast rules):

1) I check the mail and throw away all junk and catalogs in my garage (recycle bin); they never come in the house. Same for handouts, flyers, business cards … STOP IT BEFORE IT COMES IN!

2) At events like bike races or triathlons, I decline the “goody bag” at registration. What about that really cool t-shirt though? (I mean, I paid for it with my entry fee…). Rule: Only 20 t-shirts in my house (ahem, I couldn’t even wear them all in a month if I tried, but it’s a long ways from the original 62 I used to have). If I am bringing in a new T-shirt, then one old one has to go. I’ve gotten really picky about their material and fit, and only the best survive the cut.

3) I force myself to put all like-items together in one spot and refuse to let myself buy more until they are gone. Example: I just found 3 bottles of nail polish remover in my bathrooms. Because they were spread out, I didn’t know I had 3. I put them all in one spot, and will not buy ANY more until these are gone. Same for candles. And chapsticks. And smoothie supplements.

“....most people base their decisions on gut feelings or guesswork and never calculate what their time is actually worth. Everyone has an hourly value, but very few people can actually tell you what that number is.”
— https://lifehacker.com/calculating-the-value-of-time-how-much-is-your-time-re-1749954358

4) Before I buy an item I think about what it will really cost me in terms of time with upkeep, maintenance, storage, and I think about how likely it is I’ll be able to resell it. “Be careful what you own, because it will own you,” by Tyler Durden in the movie The Fight Club, is one of my all-time favorite lines, because it’s SO true. To be honest, this acute awareness has stopped me from many recent purchases. It keeps me from buying clothes, purses, jewelry, and toys/electronics. I just don’t want to invest the hassle they will require of me. Before I bought a treadmill last year for my garage, I thought long and hard about the time and money I’d spend getting it serviced, and what will eventually be involved in moving it if I sell my house. I opted to make the purchase because having it here versus having to drive to a gym, was worth it to me. (Plus, I trained my dogs how to walk on it, so it’s a household win, especially in the winter).

5) Don’t let the stuff into the house to begin with! (kind of like Rule #1 above, but adding on). Make your desires known for friends and family. I would much rather be gifted a donation, an experience, or a dinner out, than a “thing.” I don’t like hurting people’s feelings, so I used to accept their gifts and then would dispose of them when the time felt appropriate. But then I thought, that’s insane. Why let people spend their money on stuff for me if I’m going to get rid of it? So, I’ve been explicit in my asks for gifts — donations to nonprofits I love, or flowers, dinner, or kombucha. I’d rather have people’s time than a present. And I would rather not have them buy me a thing just for the sake of giving me a present. It also applies to just not buying stuff in the first place. Just decide you’re not going to do it. I set 4 big goals in 2018 and one of them was “year of no shopping.” This made it SO easy to just say no. I’d hold something in my hands, even try it on at times, and then I’d default to this amazing clear rule of “no shopping” and I’d return it to the shelf and walk away. The ease of saying no to impulse buys with such a clearly-defined rule was amazing. NO decision fatigue. Just NO. Also, I began to really appreciate items like flowers, a good cup of coffee, a new book (these were my shopping exceptions) a whole lot more. Gratitude for the little things- and I never once missed the inevitable buyer’s remorse that follows most of our purchases.

““Once it’s in the house, it’s really hard to deal with. You get attached to the things you own,” she said.”
— Dr. Saxbe, as quoted in https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/03/well/mind/clutter-stress-procrastination-psychology.html

Ok -those rules are all well and good, but what about the stuff that we already own, that we want to dispose of? Here are the options I’ve used that have worked, and one that I have yet to try but which comes highly recommended to me:

  1. Ebay: best for smaller price-range items, like used cycling kits, used nice clothing, purses, jewelry… . the Ebay app makes listing things FAST and easy, and I try to have 4-5 things listed at all times (but no more than that, as shipping them can be time consuming and I don’t like having 10 things to ship out at once!) so there’s always some turnover and movement… . Beware the costs and fees associated with your listings, however. One thing I’ve done to keep myself motivated is to assign an intended use to the sales proceeds. The money used to be my benevolence fund: I’d use it to pay for anonymous services for friends, without them knowing, or use to make donations. Now, my partner Russ and I have committed to both having items listed on ebay at all times (both of us having way more cycling apparel and accessories than we could EVER possibly use), and we’ve agreed to use that money to pay for our Tuesday night date nite outings. “Hey honey, want to have sushi? … Sorry, no, I only sold $10 worth of stuff this week … Cool — let’s split a veggie roll!” It helps us stay inspired to keep listing. I recommend using paypal to accept payments for some added seller protection. Note, however, I have been screwed a time or two -the buyer has ended up with the item and their money back, after opening a dispute on Ebay/PayPal. So-don’t ever list anything that’s TOO valuable.

  2. Craigslist: This is better for larger items and local pickups — like bikes. I’ve had good luck selling bikes on CL to local buyers, and there are ways to minimize the brain damage of agreeing on a date/time/meeting location: once the buyer indicates they are serious, I email them saying, “cash only, here is a neutral meeting space, and I can meet you on one of these 3 days/times ____.” It helps keep the back and forth to a minimum. Know that you may be stood up and you may waste a bit of time (which, ahem will encourage you not to buy something like this again in the future!)… Download the CL app to make listings with photos easy and fast.

  3. Poshmark: I haven’t tried this one yet but want to for more expensive items, like that TAG watch I mentioned, and expensive jewelry I no longer wear/want. This method involves some security for you as the seller, as well as for the buyer to ensure they aren’t sold a fake. This method involves you sending your item to them for verification, they collect the buyer’s money and send it to you when they release your item to the buyer. They too have an app, which makes listing and photos easy.

  4. Facebook Market place: semi-effective, especially if you list across multiple sites (for example when I list a bike, I list it on local Colorado cycling swaps as well as other swaps in nearby cities/states).

  5. Garage sales/flea markets: don’t waste your time. Seriously. Hours on end for a few bucks? Refer to the above chart about the value of your time on an hourly basis…

  6. Donate it — honestly, if you itemize, this is worth considering. Drop it off and it’s gone, plus tax deduction. Hate donating something “so valuable?” Well… we shouldn’t have bought it to begin with then. Stressed over which donation place to support? Do we really care which CEO is overpaid? Bottom line, ARC, Goodwill, and so on all do good things for the folks they support and employ. Don’t get hung up in minutia and stress out. Also consider having your stuff picked up for you - -Check out GiveBackBox.com for an amazing solution (use those amazon boxes AND have your donations picked up from your home, for zero cost!).

  7. Bottom line -get it gone. You can roam your house in circles, but eventually, you just need to get stuff out. Don’t overthink it - get yourself in “gut mode” as I call it (for me, best done on cold weather, cloudy, crappy days) and MOVE. And don’t let those boxes/bags stay in your car —drop them off immediately. I have NEVER ONCE regretted donating or selling anything I’ve disposed of. I’ve only loved and appreciated the whitespace created by its absence!!!! STUCK? Involve a professional! Check out our friend Stephanie’s podcasts where she talks about the how and WHY to tackle elimination … . call her and schedule a consult!

Your sanity and wellness are worth it. Make some hard rules around “stuff” - like when you will/won’t buy something. Need a 2020 resolution? I highly recommend trying the “year of no shopping.” Now that we’re into the 2019 holiday season, make this a season of elimination and eradication. Remove visual clutter. Start with the front of your refrigerator, for example. Don’t keep those old holiday cards from seasons’ past. Throw all old decor you don’t like or use, recycle what you can, and do NOT go shopping on Black Friday or in the post-holiday shopping sale season, either. Count your tshirts and cut the stash in half. Then cut it in half again. Pair down your sock drawer. Get down to 3 baseball caps. Consolidate lotions, soaps, cleaning supplies. Eat what’s in your pantry before buying more. Use those stockpiled toilet papers and papertowels and actually RUN out before you buy more. Go shopping by bike -you can’t carry as much!

Recommended reading:

https://www.theminimalists.com/

https://www.theminimalists.com/etr/

https://www.lifemadesimpleathome.com/

https://konmari.com/

https://www.amazon.com/Millionaire-Next-Door-Surprising-Americas/dp/1589795474